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Carol's Blog for 2017

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are the personal views of Carol and are not necessarily intended to reflect the views of the
Ozark Dogs Rescue Organization.

Be who you are and say what you feel...Because those that matter... don't mind...And those that mind... don't matter."

12/27:  Rena got returned last night, but Gail has already found a rescue for her in Colorado.  BDHP are taking 4 others.  So 5 are going to Colorado on the 10th or the following week. .  ASD puppies are gone.  Numbers are getting down. 
12/25:  Christmas dinner with Laurie, Snows adopter and my neighbor.   It has been a bad week and I'm not even going to go there.  Made some mistakes that I discovered I can't fix.  Just want the year to be over.  Want winter to be over.
12/20:  I hate the roller coaster ride my life takes.  Ben never returned my calls or came back to finish the leaves.  We had a deal!  He even had us shake hands on it.  Another "snowflake" melting into the abyss.  I'm stressed to my limit.  I am tired.  My heart is a wreck, both literally and emotionally.  Too much responsibility for one old lady to deal with.  Up at midnight every night to give Kate her pill so she will not have a seizure.  She is a walking Zombie and I don't know what to do to help her.  Goofy has good days and bad days.  Once he has his feet under him and is upright, he usually does fine.  But the watching him struggle to get up and the pain I know he is in during the process just tears me apart. But he has not given me that "look" that says "I'm done".  I think I have more of the "I'm done" look then he has.
    I just realized I had hot water running to wash dog dishes.....for the past hour plus.  I can't think.  I'm scared because my brain doesn't always work.  Will I end up like Perry, setting the house on fire, burning dogs to death and then dying?  I need a rescue partner.  A friend close by to help..  Someone just to relieve some of the stress that is attributing to my confusion.  Someone to handle some of the my web server double billing me today.  I paid for 3 years and they just debited my card again!  Little things that take up so much time and energy.  Time and energy I don't have. 
11/25:  Weather has (past tense) been nice and the dogs have been having fun.  Even the wild bunch bouncing around playing. 
    I burned leaves yesterday for about 4 hours.  Close to blisters on my hand from the rake.  Ache all over last night.  It's the stopping that gets me.  I have to find a smaller place.  I have to have less dogs. OR I have to have real help.  Ben is great but he does not think sometimes and makes work for me.  He moved rocks into the path where we drive the golf cart and mower.  There is a rise and it is built up and gravel on it.  Well, there is a pile of rocks on the side I moved when we made the rise.  They are round and slick and about 2" in diameter.  They are dangerous for walking on.  Like walking on a floor full of giant marbles.  Painful and dangerous.  Goofy fell on them 3 times yesterday and I almost went down more then that.  I thought Ben was coming back yesterday to finish up.  I ended up having to move them.  I am too old to be moving some 150 rocks.  Now I have to haul gravel back up in the wheel barrow so it is not mud.  No way to move the big rocks without moving a good portion of the gravel.  I was not about to try to bend over and pick up that many.  I am just frustrated at the generational ignorance.  "I just didn't think" is so damn common. 
    It's going to rain today.  I was up at 4.  Set the bowls out at 5 and it began to sprinkle.  Picked them up.   It quit  later.  Put them out.  Started again.  Picked them up.  A clearing in the sky so they are back out again.  Some of them just will not eat inside.  They will go hungry first.
11/22: Facebook has become so much easier, but this is where I belong.  Three a.m. barking.  Goofy needs to go pee.  It is cold, both inside and out.  I want to sleep.  He can use the doggie door.  Eventually I get up.  My heart breaks.  He can't get up on his own.  He has laid too far from an area rug and can't get his footing.  He has to go so bad.  I get the area rug pushed over to him and he makes it to his feet.  We make it out the back door but he is confused passing the front door and the family room door (another exit).  Such a long walk through the house and around sleeping dogs.  I get a shower on my feet and ankles.  It spews out left and right as he struggles to walk.  I should have gotten up at the first bark.  Not waited 10 minutes.  I should have grabbed my heavy bath robe and shoes.  I should have went out the front door.  Will I remember this 24 hours from now?  Maybe, maybe not.  This is not the first time.  So here I sit, pee drying on my feet and legs, waiting to warm up while the heat turns up.  Goofy is outside.  He laid down out there.  I could not get him to come back in.  Had a snack and a glass of chocolate milk.  I wanted hot chocolate but had forgot to buy white milk.  I've never tried heating chocolate milk.  For some reason it just seems weird.  It is now 4 a.m.  Beyond any chance of going back to sleep. Off to the shower to rinse off the pee and my day will begin. 
11/20:  Did I mention I picked up 2 Pyrs 2 weeks ago Sunday?  Bailey and Brystal.  I had to keep them apart as they are brother and sister and she was in heat.  Got her spayed that next morning.  Him neutered day after on Tuesday.  I brought him to the house.  She went in with Smith in the other apartment yard.  Mazi joined JoJo and Fawn.  It worked!!!  I'm keeping Bailey unless someone willing to get him trained as a therapy dog comes along.  I wanted him as a service dog but his back has an injury.  We need to see how that heals before any service dog plans can be entertained.  He is definitely service dog material.  I brought her up today ( 2 weeks post op) and put Smith with JoJo, et all.  Both packs went well. Brystal is as clingy as Bailey.  She is more outgoing so tends to push Bailey to the back.  Insecurity.  Bailey is my guardian.  Most definitely.  If I go out the door without him, he watches, then runs to the back yard to see where I go.  If I just walk to the shop or get in the car or just walk Goofy in the drive way.  Bailey has to keep an eye on me. When I return he is right there to greet me.  He is a very special dog.  And he looks like Keeton probably looked at 12 months old.  He looks like Keeton just before Keeton died when he became that puppy again for a few short weeks before he died.  He also has a Fez quality about him.  Both dogs I miss so much.  An illusion?  I don't know, but it works for me.  That is all that matters. 
11/11:  Sandra and I have had a good time.  Silver Dollar City in Branson.  Worked a very hard jig saw puzzle together.  Yard sales and thrift stores.  Local museum where they did and ancestor search for her.  Found gravesite of her 8th generation grandparents on her dad's side.  We spent 2 different days out there.  One day cleaning the 200 year old markers.
11/1/:  Lots of computer problems.  My HD that everything was on died.  I am hopeful someone can get the photos off of it.  I fell like my house caught on fire and all keepsakes were destroyed.  Photos of all the dogs I've rescued.  Photos of so many that have died.  Shelley inherited one that is almost new and top line she is donating.  Dave will fly down tomorrow and pick it up.  He will take my HD and maybe Peter can get my pix off it. 
     Sandra arrived 10/22.  Kathleen knows how afraid I am to drive alone so she came all the way down for a few days.  There is just no one in this world that is a better friend.  She is amazing. 
      Took Sandra to Silver Dollar City.  I got tired after 3 1/2 hours.  I was sad I could not keep going.  Just too much walking.  She had a good time.  I still want to do more for her.  Want to take her to the Acrobats of China but with the show not over until dark and the 2 hour drive home.  I just can't see to drive at night and these roads are bad.  Deer jumping out all along the way. 
      James finally called.  We had a long talk.  He needs someone and I'm it. 
      Goofy is not doing well at all.  It is 1:30 a.m. and I just got in from walking him.  He falls a lot.  Today may be the day.  Sandra says I am waiting too long.  The grieving process has been going on for 2 years.  Goofy is not just my dog, he is everyones' dog who has ever met him.  I did get some current pix up on him.  I have neglected my guys pages and now years of their pictures may be gone forever.  Sadly, no one cares but me.  When it comes right down to it, we are alone in this world.  No one cares that our loved ones die unless they were their loved ones too.  But then we are self centered in these facts. 
10/16:  Carpet was suppose to get seamed.  Now it will be Thursday.  Sure glad I switched it around so I have phone and internet.
     Barking is driving me nuts.  Deer and the other wildlife plus just ones being poop heads. 
     Combed out Cotton tonight.  I have 2 baths scheduled for tomorrow and 2 for Wednesday.  Not prepared.  So it will be Cotton and maybe Leslie.  Then tomorrow I need to work on Cola for Wed.  Not sure who else will go.  Fraz needs it, but I just can't manage him alone.  Dog walking will be just me and Betty.  Nancy has an appointment and Lorie is out of town. 
      Mazi picked up bad habits from Houdini.  He fence fights.  Pumpkin always barks through the fence at everybody, including me.  So between them both, Mazi has decided to join in.  She chased Leslie and was biting her last night.  So Mazi spent the night in the shop alone.  I found the hole in the fence and got it sort of fixed.  Someone is going to have to pound in rebar or another T-post or they will have it open again in no time.  I can't have Leslie or anyone being picked on.  Leslie would never hurt anyone.  She is so passive.  I just need the adoptables adopted!  I'm tired! 
10/15:  Walking the extra miles.  Trying to keep going because I love them and they love and depend on me.  Some nights I am lucky to get an hours sleep without up and walking.  Then can't go back to sleep for hours.  Then barely doze off and "woof" ....."Woof"...... "Woof"......  Goofy saying "I need to go pee".  I guess it is good though as the longer he sleeps, the harder it is for him to get up.  His legs need to keep moving or he just can't gain the control or strength he needs to get up.  Once up and moving, they kind of work.  Then Zelda has to have a walk.  If I don't, she will pee on the floor.  Protest, jealousy, or afraid of Patty (if the door is open to the wild bunch).  Goofy will not consider it "his" walk if anyone comes along so two trips.  By then, I am wide awake. 
     I'm so tired all the time.  The more I do, the better I feel mentally, but physically I'm just worn out.  I got the computer room painted.  Then got lucky and found commercial carpet that was the exact same green.  Looked like I had color matched them before hand.  I really wanted tile or fake wood but carpet was $100 ($200 but got twice what I needed) instead of over $1000 for any other option.  The room looks down right elegant. I do have a talent for interior design.  Anyway, the room is now 'off limits' to the dogs.  First time they would 'fluff', and a nail caught in one of the loops, the carpet would be ruined.  I'm trying to make everything nice so when the house sells, be it by me or my daughter, I want it as near perfect as possible.  In the process of putting the furniture back I fell.  Shoe came untied and I got tangled up.  Just a few inches to the right and I would have hit my head on the sharp edge of the counter.  I would most likely have died.  Instead my head crashed into the wall.  I'm very lucky none on me broke.  Dogs didn't even come check on me when I screamed! 
     I want my numbers down, but having a really hard time 'letting go'.  Houdini was suppose to go 2 months ago.  I do not think he will make a goat dog now.  Way too long and he has become very comfortable.  Just wish he would not fence fight with Freedom.  Mazi has come back.  Six years.  Her local adopters died.  She is as amazing as the day I adopted her out.  She moved right into the house and even the wild bunch accept her.  Amazing is her name...Mazi for short.  Not changed a bit.  She may get along with Lakota so Kathleen is going to come down and we will see.  I would be reluctant to place some with him, but I really think if any dog in the world would be his friend, she is it.  And then we have Smith and Fawn.  Fawn will adapt.  Smith...well, I wish I had an adopter I could approve.  I want to know he is in the best place possible.  .He needs someone with patience and time.  I need to get a hold of Daniel who has Hawk and see if he has prospects.  Smith would be great for someone with PTSD.  My biggest problem is Kate.  She is so precious but she is work.  If I did not have grumpy old dogs and some needing so much attention, she would be fine.  But she is a burden under the current circumstances.  I have to protect her.  I am already protecting Cotton, Freedom, Fraz, Parker and Zelda.  They are the victims of "I don't like you" issues and end up bullied.  Cotton hides in the bathroom almost all day and night.  Freedom is afraid to come in out of the rain.  Fraz also is afraid to come in.  Zelda is afraid to go out.  Parker either gets "stuck" outside and afraid to come in or hides in the bedroom.  Kate just walks around in a daze.  She is just oblivious to everything except 'invaders'.  She senses anything in the yard no matter what time of night and races out the door and up on the hill.  Since no one else goes, I think she has hallucinations. 
   Sadie has figured out how to go over with the wild bunch when the gate is closed.  I'm not sure where she is going through.  But it is a one way as I have to let her back.  I suspect it is a place where the fence is pushed in at the bottom.  She can go one way, but not the other.
     JoJo will probably just be mine forever.  Three years here, I think.  Maybe longer.  At least his peeing in the dog bowls has almost stopped.  Marking has stopped.  But bringing him up here would just make 17 dogs again and 16 is hard enough. .
10/5:  Lost Sahara this morning around 1:30 a.m.  She began seizuring and did not stop.  I knew she was going to leave me soon.  She asked my permission yesterday and I laid on the floor with her and told her it was ok.  I'm just so sad she did not go peacefully in her sleep.  Goofy has been doing much better again.  They know.  He knew that I would need him to hang around longer.
9/28 barely:  Too much stress.  Goofy is struggling.  I have rugs all over so he can get traction to get up.  He likes the cool floor but then he can't move.  Patty has been chasing and terrorizing Zelda.  I just found that out.  I thought Zelda was peeing inside to protest something.  She was just afraid to go out.  So now the wild bunch will remain on the other side and no doors open.  Sad since they have made such progress.  I'll get them separated with Cotton and Leslie over here.  Wants to include Freedom, but not sure how that will go.  Stomach is almost back to normal.  Back /hips are killing me.  Sleeping on the loveseat has not helped but need to be near Goofy.  Parker has warts removed in a few hours. One has been bleeding.  No anesthesia.  Just a shot to dull the area.  We lost one wart.  I know he had it.  Nancy and Kathleen both know he had it so know I'm not crazy.  But it is gone!  And is was big.  More of a rough, multi level erosions the size of a nickel and 1/4 " high.  Something like that just does not disappear over night, but it did.  I love Kate, but she is under foot all the time.  Really difficult.  And the neighbors are letting their precious OES /Pyr mix roam.  I got a call people thinking he was mine.  I went and checked even though I knew mine were all accounted for.  When I took him home they were rude!  "He'd come home on his own".  Well not if he is run over or shot.  GRRR!  I liked them, but not anymore.  Besides he kept arguing with me about the breed of this stray the just got 3 weeks ago.  Saying he is a Saint Bernard.  Not even close.  He's 90% Old English Sheepdog.  I'll be tempted to hide him if I see him wandering the road.  Don't know when Beth Ann will be back.  I adore Smith but he is going to make some family a fabulous friend.  I wish he could go to Colorado to Beverly that has Buddy and ....well, what ever her name is... that they adopted from me.  He would love the hiking and the mountains. 
    Evening:  Moved pieces of carpet from the basement so Goofy could get his footing to get up.  I just do not have the strength for this.  I need big pieces but could not even drag them up the stairs.  The house stinks because I had to bring in the rugs he has peed on.  No energy to steam clean them.  My car was in the driveway because I had taken Parker in to have a wart removed.  It was bleeding and afraid of infection.  Anyway, Goofy loves to ride, but he just can't get on the seat.  I let him get in the car.  He wanted to so bad.  But then his legs got tangled and he was stuck on the floor.  I just keep crying.  No point in a ride if he could not see out the window.  Finally got him untangled and out.  If he didn't weigh 145 pounds, I could help him. 
9/24:  It is bad enough that the younger generation are idiots, but I am coming across idiots of all ages.  Facebook has made the world aware of all the stupid self centered people.  I'm not including people because they disagree with me.  Only if they disagree out of ignorance with nothing more then a self centered know it all attitude.  In the last 24 hours: (1) "You assume too much, Carol. I always had pets, still do. They are made to steal your heart, they don't have opinions you need to accommodate for. ..........  "  I hope she's only had Gold Fish!  (2) "I think my puppy might have Parvo.  Do you have any financial resources?  He got sick Thursday with bloody diarrhea .........."  This is Saturday afternoon!  Good lord lady, did you not know it needed shots!  I won't go into the long detail but it just added to her stupidity.  The 5 month old puppy that she got at 10 weeks of age is going to die a horrible, painful death over the weekend.  If she had called me during vet hours, I would most likely have paid for the euthanasia.  But I'll be damned if I'll pay for emergency vet or treatment, which at this point is hopeless anyway.  If she can't take care of a puppy, she sure won't be able to take care of a dog.  She has another puppy and said it was "fine".  Same age.  And no, it has not had it's puppy shots either.  But you know who she will blame?  ME!  Because I am a rescue and I did nothing to help her.  .
9/23:  Kathleen and Bob have been here for a few days.  I am so thankful for them.  Never had friends like them in my life.  I am not sure how I will manage when they leave today or tomorrow.  I'm so sick.  The divereticulitis is so bad again.  Getting worse. I spend half the night and 80% of the morning on the toilet.  I'm practically starving because nothing seems to agree with me.  Living on rice and water.  Pudding seems to be ok.  An over baked pork chop seems to be ok.  Chocolate milk if just a little.  I've cut out soda all together even though I maybe only drank 5 - 12 oz cans a week. No beef of any sort.  Chicken is very iffy.  Only pork chop baked.  Any other pork is not good.  Can't eat fish of any kind anymore. And as far as a salad, I can't trust store bought veggies and the only dressing I like is poppy seed. That is a big no-no for divereticulitis.  If sick isn't bad enough. Goofy had diarrhea for 2 nights (we have a sympathy thing going, I guess). I can't watch him every minute while he eats because I'm running to the bathroom.  Then someone sticks their nose in his special food and he goes eats someone elses.  No, I cannot crate.  No I cannot adequately separate 16 dogs .  Goofy eats where Goofy is. He can barely get up.  And Kate has been having seizures again.  She was doing so good.  I was giving her the drug store Phenobarbital but running low.  So I gave her it once a day and the other script the other time a day.  She was doing good.  I figured all ok, so dumped them together.  Obviously the vet script is not good.   There must be days when she is only getting it and the seizures have started again.  This does prove it to me.  So I just sorted through the bottle and separated them again.  She wets herself.  Kathleen gave her a bath yesterday.  Know she will again today.  Then it will be on me.  Just hope I have the meds straightened out.  I'll need to call to verify the code on the pills. 
     I need to get dressed and hopefully get to the store without accident (diarrhea) and get some milk so I can fix rice or cream of wheat for breakfast.  I forgot last night.  Geeze how I would love a donut. 
      I took Goofy out for his morning walk, but I think he just had an accident.  I can smell it.  Whch means I have not only a mess to pick up, but his butt to wash.  He went back to sleep after his 5 a.m.walk.
9/18:  Having another bad day.  I had no snack last night.  Not even a glass of milk after 2:00.  Just water.  Figured nothing in, nothing out.  Of course I was hungry all night and up peeing more then usual.  Food keeps my back from hurting as bad.  Got a headache now too.  Rarely get a headache.  Even without trips to the bathroom (only 4 or 5 this morning and it's now 9:30) I am still exhausted.  Instead of resting on my potty runs, I just grab a chair and sit and rest in between all the morning prep.  So glad it is massage day. 
    I decided against hiring the guy to come live in the apartment.  Had quite a few conversations with him.  I think he would be great in a situation like this, just not mine.  He has a history of beating up men.  Never a woman, but I know I can really push a persons buttons when they work for me.  I can be a real bitch.  I say jump and I expect them to ask 'how high'.  You get my money, you do it the way I want it and when I want it.  This is a really hard thing for 99% of the population.  I could not work for me!  Guess that is why I have been self employed 99% of my life.  I don't take orders well, especially when I know my way is better.  I really miss Tim but had I waited any longer, given him more chances, it would have been the same outcome.  Once someone gets on drugs they just don't instantly quit. 
     Goofy is doing so good.  Keeping the Tramidol  supplied.  He has become a real pest.  Sometimes I go to the shop just for a break from his constantness.  (I know that is not a word, but it works here). I know that sounds mean, but my hands and arms get tired of petting and he pushes me when I try to get up to go to the bathroom or carry food or any movement.  He herds me and he weighs almost as much as I do.  I can tell my knee is getting bad again and if he pushes me when I'm not expecting it, it could be a disaster. 
9/17:  My life goes on.  I'm exhausted.  The IBS from the Divereticulitis just won't let me get anything done before 9:30 a.m.  Wash 3 of 16 dog dishes, run to the bathroom.  Wash 3 more, run to the bathroom........ Start picking up water to change.... run to the bathroom....  I sometimes get up at 5 a.m. just to get them fed by 8:00.  Sometimes I do have enough energy to wash the bowls after picking them up after dinner.  Sometimes not.  It's 8:36 and I'm resting.  I'll get up in a few minutes and fill food bowls.  Then I will be back here to rest....after several runs to the bathroom....  Then I will distribute pills.  Then I will come back and rest.... after making a bathroom run.  Hopefully at that point it will have slowed down enough that I can get all the bowls down except Goofys.  Make my run and then set and rest while I feed him.  He has the same problem I have if he gets into someone elses food dish.  He struggles too hard to get up so unless he is already up eating, he will just stay put until I get to giving him his.  9:28  Food down, bowls back up, except for the 4 still full from the wild bunch.  It is not hot.  74 on the thermostat, but sweat running off me.  I still need to feed JoJo and the other 2.  I'm going to by a helmet cam.  Record all day (batteries permitting) and then let someone edit it.  Not that the stupids on FB who are full of self importance would learn anything.  but it might shut some critics up and help a few other rescues from being 'beat up'.  Another potty stop and then down to feed JoJo, et all.   
9/12:  Chipi died last night.  Very suddenly.  Still processing this. 
8/31:  Bedroom is practically empty.  Mike from Chucks Outlet came and moved the bedroom set and the office desk to the shop.  Heavy!  The room now echoes.  No furniture to absorb sound.  Just the bed on a plain frame and the seat that goes at the foot.  I'll be rolling in the sideboard to use as a dresser.  I took the drapes, valances and rods down.  I'll need a painter to come patch and paint.  Then will put up vertical blinds at the sliding glass door.  Want a low shelf type headboard for the phone.  Don't want nightstands.  Don't want anything more then the bare minimum so less to dust and easier to clean the floor. 
     Bob and Kathleen worked their butts off too.  Bob got the weed eating dons and all the yard sprayed.  anything the lawnmower could not reach, Kathleen used the pump sprayer.  So any fleas, ticks, ants, etc. should be gone. We also got Leslie and Pumpkin cleaned up and part of Cotton.  They headed home around 11:00.  I so enjoy them and they work so hard helping make home and dogs look nice.
   Once the bedroom is under control, I'll start on the computer room.  Now that the huge desk is out and down in the shop, I have room to work.  Bob got the boards cut for the wall so I can strip off the lower half of the wall paper and then paint it.  Dogs kind of ate it through the years.  It was never put on right anyway.  Was falling off to begin with.  
    It is 3:20.  Been up since 5 and barely stopped.  Just waiting until it is late enough to feed.  Also waiting for the mattress pad to get dry. 
8/28:  Can't sleep. Almost midnight and realized I have not seen my car jacks since they moved out.  Kathleen and Bob have been here since yesterday and Bob has helped organize the shop.  That is what made me realize something was missing.  I just had not figured out what.  I bet they were loaded in his car trunk.  I don't want to go down and look for them.  Bob would think someone was prowling around.  Dogs would bark.  You want to trust people.  You want to believe people.  You want to give people a chance.  But people have lost all sense of right and wrong.  We, those of us over 60, are the last of the honest generation.  Exceptions, but not the majority. 
    Smith is back at the vet.  Continuing to lose weight.  10 pounds in 15 days.  They will do a new test.  $300.  Then more stuff.  His total is well over $1200.  She did it.  She is an idiot.  A 46 year old idiot midget who thinks because she is a midget, she can do what ever she damn well pleases.  If it were not for the dogs needing me, I'd of shot them both.  They deserve it. 
    I'm so tired.  I'm so glad Kathleen and Bob are here for a few days.  I need the help and the conversation and the distraction.  I feel like I'm swimming a marathon and they keep moving the shore line.  I'm trying to get rid of stuff.  Took a load to the thrift store.  Bob organized all the tools that were on the table and moved all the stuff away from the one wall.  Laid out carpet.  Mike from Chucks Outlet will come Thursday and move my whole bedroom set to the shop.  I'll just cover it up so I don't have to look at it.  I'm sick of dusting it.  Gave all the TV's to Bob.  They will take at least 2.  I never watch.  Have not had much interest in programs or movies in 7 or 8 years.  So much fake news, I don't want to hear it either. I'm too old to change the world so I just keep to myself in my own little corner of it. 
      I've just about given up on moving home.  A house I liked last year that Randy never went and looked at is now listed at $269K.  Last year it was $119K and it has the exact same pictures of it.  They just painted and tiled the basement is the only change.  The big one on the river that was $189K was listed at $369K a few months ago.  Here, prices have dropped.  My house is probably worth 30% less then the appraisal 6 months ago.  I watch the market trends.  Definitely a buyers market here and a sellers market in Idaho.  So I am just down sizing by removing the bedroom set.  I got a frame on wheels and Bob put wheels on the sideboard that went with the fancy table I don't have anymore.  It will be my dresser.  The dogs will have a lot more room.  I'm going to build a closet on wheels for in there.  I know I can do it!  Just sick of not being able to clean properly.  Too much furniture!!  . 
8/23: 5:00 P.M.  Been cleaning in the shop.  Smith is not looking like he feels good.  Damn.  JoJo doesn't either.  Hope he didn't get into anything.  Smith is still gulping down food where as when he had the rug string in his throat he was not.  But it could be string stuck in his gut.  Guess I will drop him off at the vets tomorrow and let him spend the night.  Maybe they can determine if his poop is normal.  Too hard with 3 dogs in the yard to even know if he has pooped.
8/23: Part 3
      Yesterdays post was semi typical vet day.  Today is today!  Worried and wanting to know if Kate was still not seizuring, I slept light.  But I must have really sunk into deep sleep somewhere around 4 a.m.  Next thing I knew it was 6:40.  I rarely sleep that late.  This meant a big rush to get Goofy out the door.  Too late.  Nice little "S" pattern through the house.  I took him out anyway, just in case he was holding some in reserve.  Mopped.
       Feeding went pretty much like the first post.  Goofy didn't want his.  Sprite didn't want his.  Goofy wanted Sprites.  I switched bowls really fast and Goofy ate all his, thinking it was Sprites.  Out-smarting dogs can be exhausting.
       I took a break and checked in with FB.  Totally forgetting to feed the guys in the shop.   It was like only 8:45 but they are use to food by 8:00.  Then I smelled it.  Goofy must have gotten into Sprites food before I caught and switched.  Or maybe it was last night I missed some thievery.  Diarrhea all through the house.   Four area rugs, 2 dog beds plus the floor.  I leashed him in case there was more to come and got him out the door.  Praying as I left that the other dogs would not step in any of it.  Took Goofy to the shop where I have warm water hooked to a soft spray.  Cleaned his butt.  (This IS a daily thing. Even if it is not diarrhea, it still finds a way to stick and yes, he does have a "sanitary cut" there).   While he drip dried, I fed the shop guys.
       The next 2 hours have been spent steam cleaning the rugs, mopping the floor (again) and getting the dog bed covers into wash.  It is now 10: 59 a.m.  I'm ready for a nap! 
       Looks like a storm moving in, but Parker is not hiding in the closet.  He can no longer lift his legs high enough to hide in the bath tub.  But since he is not hiding, it means the storm will miss us or it is more then 3 hours away.   There was a nice break in the storms yesterday and the grass was dry enough to mow.  Don't know what I did, but 30 minutes into the project, something broke.  Probably a blade, but I could not find the guilty rock.  Maybe a large tree branch hiding in the tall grass.  Rocks are all marked with bright red spray paint! 
      So guess I will forego a nap and drag the steam cleaner down to the shop and clean the rug in the apartment.  Already spent 10 hours cleaning after I kicked out the "un-helpers"  from it.  Kathleen and Bob, along with bringing Lakota, will be here Sunday to help so don't want any 'creepy critters' keeping them company while they stay here. 
8/22: Part 2
     Yesterday was about the 2 hours of feeding.  Double that as I feed twice a day.  So we have 20 hours left.
      Not every day, but many days and every week, there are vet appointments.  Luckily I am only a 10 minute drive from my vet office.  Friday was typical of far too many 'vet' days. 
      At 4 a.m. Parker was fine.   I took him and Goofy for a walk.  If I don't get Goofy out the door, I have pee from one end of the house to the other.  He is old and the minute he wakes up, he will "Bark"   and then a long pause.  Then a second bark.  Shoes and night shirt.  No time to get dressed.   Grab the leash and out the door we go.    There will be poop to clean up when we get back because it has fallen out during his sleep. 
     Back in the door, Goofy and Parker go lay down while I pick up poop,  carry it outside then mop the area.  Prepare their food.  Thaw their 'topping' (boiled chicken for some and hamburger for others.  Allergies).   Peel boiled eggs, open green beans and carrots and dice them all up.  Blend them into the thawed chicken.    The rest is pretty much Post 1 history.
      It is now 6:45 a.m. and I'm setting out the bowls.   Parker will not get up to eat.  I'm terrified.  He has been so 'leg and hip' strong.  Never a problem with his back end.   As soon as everyone has had 15 minutes to eat, I grab up the bowls.  I finally get Parker up.  He is wobbly and falling.  Get him in the car and we wait for the vet office to open.  I fill out a drop off form and give special instructions.  They take him to the back.  
      I need some groceries so go to the store before going home.   When home, I give them their food bowls back as no one had really finished. 
       It was noon before Erin, the vet, had been able to check Parker.    I had called and she was just about to begin.  I missed her call back and thanks again to robocalls, I did not get her full message.   I headed to the vet office and got there at 2:00.  I needed to know what was going on with Parker.   Erin was booked up.  They said she wanted to keep him over night.  I said I needed to see Parker as I knew he was scared and confused.   The place was busy.  there were no rooms.  Normally they would let me go to the back and sit in a run with a dog.  But they brought him out to the lobby.  He was still staggering.  I took him out to potty which he really had to go bad.  I suspected a UTI along with whatever was causing his weakness. Cam back inside and he laid down and I sat down on the floor beside him.  The office staff kept trying to move me or get me to leave or take Parker to the back.  I'm stubborn.  I sat on the floor with him, people having to walk around us, until 5:30.  I finally got to talk to Erin.  Blood work, x-rays.  He had a herniated disc.  I'm not medical, but what she showed me on the x-rays did not look very bad.  I could only slightly differentiate between the other vertebra.   I asked if they had someone there all night.  She said no.  I said he would be right by my bed where I could watch him so much better off at home. 
      It was very lucky I took him home because we had a really bad storm.  He is terrified of storms.  He hid in the closet because he could not lift his back legs to get in the bath tub where he usually hides.   He might not have survived or ended up in much worse shape if he had been alone in a strange place during the storm.
8/21: I'm not looking for sympathy.  I chose this.  But now I am tired and there is no way out.  I'm telling people who are not in rescue what we,  who are,  go through.
     I have 20 dogs here.  17 in the house.  3 in the shop.  First the dogs in the house.  They are on 7 different foods.  One is on home cooked.  One is on low carb to help with seizure control.  Two on special diet for digestive issues.  Three are on grain free for allergies.   Two are on a 'special blend' .  Four are on Adult.  Four are on Senior. 
     The ones in the shop: One on weight management.  One on adult .  One on canned food. 
     The house:  8 are on meds.   1 is on 2 meds.  2 are on 3 meds.  3 are on 4 meds. 2 are on 5 meds.  Some meds could harm if the wrong dog got them. 
     The shop:  1 dog is on 2 meds.
     Tonight (which is becoming way to typical) I started giving meds.  I have to do it one dog at a time or I get mixed up.)  I can't put it in their bowls as I can't watch 17 dogs all at the same time.   Two are no where to be found.  They were under my feet just moments earlier.  I have a counter surfer, so the med has to be labeled and put in the fridge until the dog appears.  I am ready with Kates new Phenobarbital script I just picked up.  Crash.  I hear her seizuring.   Goofy starts bouncing around.  He has to go out and pee...or so he is telling me.  I can't lay Kates meds down so I have to get it in the fridge.  Grab Goofys leash (as there is nothing I can do for Kate at this moment).   Parkers cooked chicken is on the counter.  I have to grab it and put it up before I go out the door with Goofy.  I get him out and he decided he doesn't want to go.  I make him walk a little ways.  We go in the house and the pee falls out.  He can't help it and I rushed him. 
       Kate is finished seizuring.  I give her her pill.  I get each of the rest of the pills ready and distributed.  Kate is in Zelda's space.  Zelda is growling.  Kate is oblivious.  I come up behind Kate to move her and startle her.  She screeches.  All the dogs go into a frenzy.    I get them settled down and start setting down bowls.   Kate and Hanna immediately switch.  I have to grab and get them back in their right places and bowls.   Zelda is next.  She is still mad at Kate, but then Zelda is old, has cancer and is a pretty grumpy old girl anyway.   I set Sprites bowl down.  Parker takes it while I am putting Sahara, Sadie and Chipis' bowls down.  I try to get Parker out of Sprites but the bowl is almost empty.  I turn around and Sadie is in Saharas and Sahara is in Chipis.  Chipi has moved to the living room bowless.   Saharas expensive food is almost gone.  Sadies bowl is untouched.  Hopefully Sahara will not have a bad reaction to the grain in Chipis.   I set Parkers bowl down and then Goofys.  I turn around and I guess since Parker had already filled up on Sprites kibble, he let Chipi have his cooked chicken.  Bad part is one of Parkers meds was ground up and mixed in because he chokes on the pill.  Goofy is standing eating.  I think.  I go to get Parker more chicken and another pill.  Goofy is no longer at his bowl and Chipi is eating his special digestive food.  By now I am about in tears....
        I get the wild bunch bowls ready.  Normally 6 are inside and 2 are outside.  Their choice.  They have established their own eating places.   Four different kibbles.  Well, tonight (blame it on a failed eclipse), they are all outside.  I try to make some semblance of order in putting the bowls down.  I just finish (9 bowls for 8 dogs)   and 5 decide to come inside.  So I am back out there picking up those 5 bowls plus one. 
       I sit down here to recount the last 2 hours and Kate has another seizure.  Just an hour  after the last one and  45 minutes  after getting  the Phenobarbital.
      And this is just a feeding time, 2 hours out of a 24 hour day.
8/19:  My melt down continues.  Yesterday morning Parker could not get his hind legs to work.  He finally managed to get up.  He was fine at 4 a.m. when I took Goofy for a walk.  By 7 a.m. he could not get up.  Got him moving and into the car and waited for the vet office to open.  Erin did not get to see him until noon.  I hated leaving him there.  Over $800 later, only sign was a herniated disc but it was not severe.  He is bound up with poop.  She wanted him to stay but they do not have all night staff so I brought him home where I could watch him.  Big storm.  Thank God I did bring him home or he would have had a heart attack and died.  Today he is better but had not eaten for several days. 
    I was awake at 2:30 this morning.  I only took little cat naps because I wanted to be sure Parker was ok.  Took Goofy for a walk.  Then Parker. Then 3, then 3 more, then one and then one more.  By then it was 5 a.m. and no point going back to bed. 
   Morning feeding has become a very slow process.  I have so many one different meds right now.  To be sure each gets the right one and that no on steals anothers. I am hand feeding the pills ahead of serving the food.  It works well, but adds about 45 minutes to the feeding.   setting out the pills next to the masking tape on the counter.  It has the names wrote out.  Line up everybodys pills and then wrap one dogs pills in Braunswager at a time and carry it to them and make sure they swallow and not spit it out.  Then on to the next.  9 dogs on pills.  Total of  35 pills between them.  That does not include Smith in the shop who gets 3. 
    After feeding breakfast and a re-walk for Goofy and Parker (Parker did not eat), I went down to tackle the shop cleaning.  Mike was going to do it.  It would not have went well.  I discovered more missing things.  Every 2 hours I'd come up and check on Parker.  Each time I had goofy poop and pee to mop up.  Then back to the shop for more cleaning.  I spent a full 8 hours working and am still not done!!!  No idea of time but seemed like time to feed so I fed the shop gang and then came up.  It was 4:30.  Good guess!  Began the feeding process.  Less pills at night.  Delivered the pills and started putting bowls down.   Parker was in the bedroom so I closed the door as his pills were in the canned food I thought he would eat.  Goofy is last to get fed as have to watch that no one gets his and especially that he does not get into anyone elses or I will be cleaning up diarrhea for days.  Kate had a seizure, fell in her food bowl, food went flying.  Freaked out Hanna and she had one of her tremors.  Sprite freaked out and started barking.  Zelda was growling because she eats just around the corner from Kate and she was upset by food flying.  I had to run to Kate.  Goofy left his bowl.  Chipi ate his food.  Goofy ate Sprites.  Saharas bowl fell on the floor (she eats elevated).  Sadie thought hers had to be better.  Sahara went outside without getting hardly anything to eat.  And I just sat on the floor and cried.  I finally got up to check on Parker.  He had not eaten again.  Nothing for several days.  I gave him a full chicken breast.  He ate!  I gave him another half and he ate it.  The second serving had his pills ground up and mixed in it.  Success!  So thawing out a lot of chicken.  The rest of them may get a dab of the canned dog food so the chicken will last a little longer.  Kathleen is bringing a bunch down she got on sale so prefer to not be overloaded on cooking the whole time she is here. 
8/18:  I have not had the energy to even begin to clean the apartment.  Mike said he would come do it, but I'm telling him up front, they are not getting a dime of the deposit back.  Stacy stole a whole bunch of stuff, including the Roku!  My container of corsets (I use to make and sell them...the real deal) is looking awfully lean. I know what I had so need to look and I WILL know what is missing.  A bunch of the towels I used for the dogs are gone.  Beach towels size as well as white ones I bought at the hospital thrift store.  A lamp.  A mattress pad.   Light bulbs!!!  She took the 4 bulbs out of one lamp and 3 out of a ceiling light.  They list so far is 20 items.  I told Mike he needed to get them to me.  He wanted the list.  I said no.  Because there might be a few things I missed and wouldn't get them back if they were not listed.  I just told him the Roku and the lamp.
     Storm is coming in.  Need to shut down.
8/17:  It has been a busy 5 days.  On the 14th I got a lawyer to be sure I could get the people out of the apartment. I LOVE when I am right.  I called Larry, a dog loving deputy sheriff and he and his Sargent come over to witness me serving them 3 days notice to vacate.  So I need to back up...  On Friday, the 11th they had not done anything they were suppose to do.  The dog yard had not been poop scooped in several days.  There was a rug that had been in the kitchen.  They had moved it to the bathroom. It was now in shreds out in the yard. I picked it up and laid into them about it.  They had been told repeatedly since day one: never leave the dogs unattended on my sewing room side of the fence and never leave the bathroom door open.  She obviously did not heed.  I checked Beth Ann and counted pills and know the burn had not been doctored.  She had not gotten her pills. I told them they were to leave.  I'd had it!  Smith was really sick.  Throwing up, not eating.  My first thought was that she had given him something that poisoned him.  None of the 3 vets I really trust were available so the first appointment I could get was Tuesday.  My weekend was horrible.  Smith was getting worse by the day.  So Monday finally got here.  I was at the lawyers office before it opened. I did not have an appointment.  By the time I got in the door, I was sobbing uncontrollable. I was honestly ready to kill them both.  The dogs needing me and my family having to live with a mother / grandmother as a murderer were the only things holding me back.  Got the papers.  Got the deputy.  Got them served. 
     Dropped Smith off first thing Tuesday morning.  Ordered full blood work up, every test, x-rays, ultra sound.  The works.  The eye was worse also, so thought maybe "she" had gotten bleach water splashed on him and he ingested some.  Nothing!  He spent the night on IVs.  He had lost 4 pounds in 5 days.  Erin (the vet) re-checked his teeth.  We had not made that a priority since they had just been checked 4 weeks earlier.  She found an exposed root on a back tooth.  Thanks to damn Robocalls that use up all my message space, I only got the first 2 sentences of her message.  When I got it, she had already left the clinic.  This morning I was there waiting for Erin.  I needed to know what the situation was.  It broke my heart when I saw the hole in his gums where the root was exposed.  He went into surgery around noon.  Erin called me this evening.  "I got the tooth out, but while checking the rest of his mouth, I found the strangest thing.  He had a fuzzy string wrapped around his tongue.  It went down his throat and into his stomach.  When we pulled it out, all kinds of dog hair and grass came with it.  It was over 2 1/2 feet long.  I don't know if any broke off or if we got it all or if some is in his intestines.  We will need to keep a close eye on him.  It is amazing he did not die".   "They" almost killed Smith!!   By not listening to me and keeping the gate closed and the bathroom door closed, and moving my stuff around, they almost killed a dog. It is a good thing they are out and not in the apartment.  I'd be in jail and they'd be dead.  I told them the day they arrived "You hurt one of my dogs and I'll kill you". 
8/13:  Ever just feel like everyone grabbed all the life jackets and swam to safety while you slowly sink with the ship because you are too weak and tired to swim?  The dogs mentioned 2 days ago are fine.  I didn't realize the whole circumstance.  They are not in runs all day and night.  They are in good hands.  I am just so stressed out over these damn people I can't get rid of.  Sheriff won't do nothing.  Civil matter.  I disagree.  Hope to see a lawyer tomorrow.  I can't handle this.  My hair is falling out in clumps from nerves and I don't have much hair to begin with.  Beth Ann is not being taken care of.  Got to go to Wal-mart and get a tape recorder.  I need to record their fights.  I just missed a big one....but then they are common, several times a day. 
8/11:  I am just not thinking.  I woke up realizing what a terrible mistake I made for Sugar and Sadena.   Now I am totally sick to my stomach and will remain that way.  They will be in a shelter setting until they are adopted.  BUT a shelter setting is going to make them both un-adoptable.   Sugar was going crazy just in the run for a few days at the vet.  Sadena has taken 2 years to learn to trust and I just took that away from her.  I can't make mistakes.  This is these dogs lives.  Mistakes are not allowed.  I've done a terribly stupid thing because I am so exhausted.  And so stressed out from these 'helpers'. 
8/10:  Chuck just picked up Sugar (Pyr mix from Searcy) and Sadena (been here 2 years).   About to approve someone for Rena, a Pyr mix from Green Forest.  Chuck will probably be back in a few weeks for Smith and Fawn (both from Green Forest).  I will put JoJo in the house and Beth Ann will be the only dog left in the shop.  Both have been here over 2 years.  I am going to try to twist Ryans arm (or maybe Karen Kelley) to take Beth Ann and get her adoptable.  I wish there was a better option, but she is a 'chaser' and very picky about what other dogs she is around.  Gail is working on a rescue for Kate.  She knows a rescue that specializes in special needs dogs in Colorado.   
     I am beginning to adjust to this change in my life.  I have struggled with the 'letting go' because I can do so much good.  But I am becoming more aware of my limits (physical and financial) and it is rime. 
     Every thing we do, every day, becomes a path to somewhere. The slightest change takes us somewhere else.  I look back at all the what if's  but know this is the road I was meant to be on.  Now it is time to make a turn.  No road signs telling me where I will end up. My goal is 2 acres in Gooding, Idaho with a medium size open floor plan home and my wild bunch by my side.  But a plan is only that; a plan.  I'm open to where life leads me next.... as long as it is not into a nursing home!  
8/5:  Time gets away.  Getting a Pyr from Searcy.  Sandra is bringing her.  Chuck will take her and Sadena.  Linda has one that Brenda has a home for.  LeAnn is taking Sprite in a few weeks.  Smith and Fawn are such great pals, I think I can get homes for them.  Just leaves JoJo, BethAnn and Kate.  Sadie can stay.  Beth Ann has got to go.  She cannot live her life alone.  She is too sweet with people.  Just cars and other dogs. 
   Goofy is worse by the day.  Got him on tramadol and meloxicam.  He still has spirit.  He still gets excited for a walk, although getting up is so terribly painful.  Sahara won't go for walks anymore.  She lays most of the time.  I know she is not well.  Blood work is normal.   Just old age.  Zelda is not feeling good.  Hanna is limping way more.  Parker is not eating, but he is so stoic it is hard to tell what is bothering him.  Chipi is going strong.  She is probably the oldest but who knows the mix.  Leslie is really aging.  Cotton seems good.  Leslie and Cotton pretty much stay on this side of the house now.  I can walk by all the wild bunch except Fraz.  He still runs.  I can even reach down and pet Patty and Pumpkin. 
   Almost 6 a.m.  Been up for close to 2 hours waiting for the pain pill to kick in.  Guess it's not going to happen.  I really hurt.  Will probably take a nap after Sandra drops off the new girl. 
    5:40 p.m. Just feel like a good cry.  "They" are driving me nuts.  She cannot keep her hands off my stuff.  Little things, but that is beside the point.  The light burned out in the dogs room in the shop.  She replaced the bulb, but hung a different light, a car engine light thing, up in it's place.  She almost caught the place on fire with the same damn light a month ago when she hung it in the bathroom in place of the light I had in there.  I am really beginning to understand it is her, not him...well, it is both of them, but she can make anyone yell, cuss and want to strangle her.  She put 3 times the amount of dirty clothes in the washer.  This washer had only been used maybe 10 times when they moved in.  Tim's sister burned up the last one doing the same thing.  So this one was bought after they moved out.  I've maybe used it 10 times at most just washing the dog towels when I'd give them a bath.  My dog towels are vanishing.  She moved the metal cabinet from the bathroom and put my good antique one in there!!  She said I told her it was ok.  No way in hell.  Never would I have said that.  I was suppose to get the security deposit a month ago.  Then 2 days ago.  Still waiting.  I'm going to ask for it tomorrow and if they do not have it, they are out.  Maybe even if they do have it, they are out.  I will need it to have someone come clean up the mess they will leave behind.  I cannot handle the stress because I can not trust them.  I could trust Tim before he got on drugs.  The dogs were always taken care of.  Now I am never sure.  I feel lied to at least half the time.  I'm just not up to this stress.  Somehow I will manage.  I always have.  
8/3:  Deck is sealed.  Suppose to dry for 48 hours.  Got rain after 9 hours.  I think it will be ok.  It was pretty hot before it rained. Moved all the patio furniture.  Table and chairs are under the deck.  Swings are on back deck.  I'm working on making new cushions.  Not enough fabric to make everything match and I am not about to buy any.  I really need boat vinyl.  Have heavy drape fabric but it is just not 'patio' appropriate.  A blue floral design.
    I found the cutest fabric at the thrift store with mushroom pattern.  Perfect for a table cloth and enough for a center run place mat.  Also a floral print and a Christmas print for table cloths.  Decided to pack up Grandmas and save for Sandra.  They are not in the best of shape but they are about 100 years old.  Nothing made today will be around that long.  Maybe years but not decades and certainly not a century. 
7/29:  Listing things I probably forgot to mention.  (1) I have a couple in the apartment.   They moved in July 3.  It has been a horrible roller coaster.  My guard is up.  I am sure this is a game but I am smarter and tougher.  (2) I bought a zero turn lawnmower.  I love it!!  I feel so good not having to depend on anyone to mow the grass.  It was always so depressing looking out and seeing un unkempt yard.  I did find a guy to weed eat and pull weeds.  Just have to work around crazy, unpredictable weather. (3) A storm knocked down a tree on the fence.  Most got cleaned up but there is still a mess they were suppose to finish.  His phone never works.  Nancy was going to have him do a huge job (over $1K ) but he lost out on that because he never finished mine.  (4)  I took in 2 dogs from Linda.  Smith and Fawn.  I took in Kate, the Husky mix.  Good thing I have patience (with dogs, not people) and a good sense of humor.  Kate is not of this world.  Sprite was returned and is comfortable back in the house.  Momma and pups went to Judy. An old girl went to Debbie.  (5)  My daughter was here for 3 weeks in April/May..  I feel so bad we did not get to do much but it rained almost constantly. (6) I have over 1500 collars made up.  (7)  I got 10 dog bed covers made and sent off to Ilse.  (8) Bob and Kathleen were down in June and Bob got the yard all sprayed for ticks and critter control. (9) I had the model railroad club move out.  I really needed space.  Having them just treat it like a storage facility made me crazy.  I know there is more, much more.  Brain is fuzzy.  Missed breakfast again so ready for lunch. 
7/23:  Just finished catching up the website.  It's 10:40 and I forgot to eat breakfast.  Guess it will be lunch instead. 
Below are the posts I made to Facebook while I could not get onto my website.  They are in date order rather then reverse. 
4/5: Some of you oldies like me might remember the movie where Joan Crawford was trying to make Betty Davis think she was going insane. (might have been the other way around) I don't remember name of it. Well, I think Sadie is doing that to me. I swear she has learned to open the microwave and the fridge and helped herself to food I was planning to eat. Actually I probably laid it on the counter for 10 seconds and then never gave it a thought when it went missing until I was ready to eat it. She has put on a lot of weight!
4/9: How do I get rid of an excessively large Bee. I am not sure what kind, but it is terrorizing me and driving Sadie crazy as she tries to catch it. It stays right outside the door to the back deck. Has been there 3 days. I don't want to use wasp spray because of the dogs. I tried chasing it with cedar oil spray but then thought that might be inviting! Way too fast for a fly swatter (and I just pissed it off).
   Back yard is mowed and weedeated. My faith has been restored that there actually is a millennial out there who knows how to work and does it!
   My industrial sewing machine needs a repairman. The number for the last guy I used has been disconnected. Hopefully I can get Stitchco to let their guy come after work...if he will. But I need a back up plan. Local home sewing machine place wants $280 an hour and I don't think they are capable as this is not a standard machine. And no way in Hell would I pay that.
4/10: Got Freedom to the vet for stitches out. Yeah Freedom!!! He did so good getting in the car. He even got up on the seat and looked around. He also stuck his head into the front to watch where we were going. He did great walking on leash into the vet office and even letting the girl take him to the back. He was not spooked at the doors or the traffic sounds on the busy highway running in front of the vets. This is amazing. It has taken almost 4 years but we are 'over the hump". .... of course I hate to mention it took almost 20 minutes and numerous trips around the bed to get the leash on him to go.
4/11: I could not wait for 2016 to be over. 2017 HAD to be better. HA! I wish I was not so confused on what I am suppose to be doing with my life because obviously I am on the wrong path. Fricken walls and cliffs (and floods) keep detouring me. Keeping a positive attitude is getting impossible when I think I am doing things right and then it all falls apart. I'm an old person living in a young person world and it's making me crazier.
4/14: It's been a very 'spirit' directed day. I hate going to the store. Any store. Started breakfast and realized the milk was bad. Turned off the stove and decided I'd just have to go to the store. Might as well go to all the stores I needed to go to. I needed more plastic bins for my collars and 2 more tables for the craft fair . Got the bins but the tables had jumped $8 in price since last week. Guess it was a sale. An old friend was checking me out and I mentioned about the tables. She has managerial discretion so I got 2 tables at last weeks price. From there to the dreaded Wal-mart. I always go to 'self check-out. Something just drew me to cashier line. I was blown away.... The customer and the cashier were signing to each other. The cashier is hard of hearing but her husband is deaf. The customer was his interpreter. I thought she was deaf. Anyway, I jumped right into the conversation. I got their FB pages and friended them. My daughter will have someone besides me to talk to while she is here! I am so excited. Then I finally connected with the sewing machine repairman. He was certified on a different brand but he gave it his 'all' and it got fixed. I did have option of repair person number one, but something drew me to number 2. While he tackled a machine he was totally not familiar with, we talked. He has 7 dogs and his mom has 9. I just knew something was drawing me to pick him. Weird thing was, when he pulled into the drive way, the dogs were unresponsive. He came to the door and rang the bell. They just laid there, except Goofy. This is NOT normal. They usually 'announce' anyone even who slows down near the drive way. And they all come to the door. Having that response (or lack of) from the dogs made me feel real comfortable with this stranger. I'm hoping today is the 'turning point' for 2017 to get better.
4/18:  My daughter is arriving today and staying until May 10th.  I am so excited.  I miss her so much.  Dave is taking me to pick her up because I get so lost. 
4/21: Sadena and JoJo welcomed "Casper". He gave me kisses all the way home. Fed him and no food issues. Said to be house broke. Learned the doggie door right away. Casper needs rescue or adopter. He is vetted, HW neg. ready to go. Follow up: Caspers story:  He was turned in to my vet to be euthanized.  She called and I agreed to take him.  He was neutered and had a hernia repair. He was a real escape artist.  He was only here 3 days but was over, under and through every fence.  He was accepted by a Colorado rescue.  During his 'stay over' in Oklahoma he jumped an 8' fence on Sat. night.  On Sunday morning, they found him dead in his run.  They think the climb over the fence broke the inner stitches for the hernia and bled out internally.  Such a heartbreaking thing.  My only solice is knowing that he was just not meant to live in any confinement, no matter how large the area.  Now he can run free over the Rainbow Bridge where there are no fences and no cars and no illness.   
4/24 Update: 3:15 p.m. Zelda will have the lumps removed tomorrow morning. The one by the ear is a cyst. The one over her eye is 'suspect'. She will have her teeth cleaned while she is under. Some of her blood levels were not where they should be, but this was just a message. Wendy was running behind all day so I will know more in the morning when I see her when I drop off Zelda. Hopefully all that will be done will alleviate what ever discomfort she is having and is causing her dog aggression. She has always let the others know she is the Matriarch, but never more then a subtle growl until yesterday. She has got to be hurting. 4/24
Unusual event. Zelda started a fight with Sahara. They've not been "friends" for the 9 years has been here with her but they just avoid each other. Zelda has not been acting 'normal' the past few days. As I was checking her over, I found 2 walnut size lumps. One over her eye and the other on the front of her ear, same side, And possibly a third in the same area. They are squishy that that is hopeful. Hope I can get one of the vets I trust tomorrow as hate to put this off even a day. Looked at her records and she is 13 years old. Old for a Pyr/Kom.
4/25:  Freedom walking with my daughter! This is amazing because he came feral and still has trust issues.  click for full size
4/27: Zelda eating her expensive special dinner. When her mouth heals, she is not going to want to go back to kibble at all.  She had a tumor over her eye, a tumor on her leg, a tumor on her side and a tumor in her mouth removed.  I did not want to know the diagnosis but several weeks later during the re-check, Wendy let it slip that the tumor in her mouth was cancer. 
4/30: Reporting in from my 'on the hill' home. We are all safe and even have power. My wet weather creek resembles a river, but other then that we are safe. Thing sI have always considered when house hunting was earth quakes, floods and tornadoes. Half way up a tall hill is the safest.
5/2:  Too much sadness this week. A FB friend who I have become very close to lost her beloved horse last week and lost her husband yesterday. My heart is breaking for her.
5/3: I follow a rescue group in the area where I am planning to move to. Now I have some serious concerns. Seems they have this "pink spot" problem. People stealing dogs, putting a pink spot on their head and then turning them loose in the middle of no where and track them and shot them!!!
5/4: Going to the Craft Fair in Dog Patch this weekend. The magic number is 1254. That is how many collar/leads I am bringing to sell!!!
5/6: Very long day at the craft fair. Cotton was a hit! Bet I had 100 people ask "What is it?" And only one or 2 had ever heard of a Komondor. Just got too hot for him so he will stay home tomorrow.
5/13: Finally some sunshine. Second weekend in a row! Now if the grass would quit growing at a rate I can almost see move, (and I had someone to keep it mowed and weed eated) it would be the beginning of a great summer.
5/17: Question: I read about all the computer ransom crime and now there is an article saying they are generating money outside of the ransom frame. I HATE online banking and have expressed this to the banks I use but they insure me it is "safe". HA! How worried should we, the general public be that our checking accounts and savings accounts and our retirement accounts might just vanish?
     Every morning my computer presents me with "news", rather I want it or not. I am so sick of "an anonymous source" saying one thing. Others going on the defense, others charging back. It so reminds me of the game we played as kids in school. A teacher would give the first student a piece of paper with a sentence or 2 written on it. Then that student would whisper in the next ones ear what the paper said....only every time it was whispered, it would take on new meaning. By the end, it had no resemblance to what was on the paper. I think we need to send the media, the politicians, the liberals, AND anonymous sources all back to 2nd grade....and leave them there (Sorry, teachers).
5/18:  Dear Friend, Thank you for the 2 pounds of truffles, the pound of chocolate covered caramels and the pound of chocolate bars. You fed my chocolate addiction. Now I can't button my pants....But boy were they good.
5/20: Emo got a "make over" today.....all day. Kathleen and I ache all over. On the floor from around 11:15 to 7:30 with a brief break for lunch. Emo finally just 'gave up' towards the end realizing we were not giving up or giving in. He doesn't know we are not finished! Still have about 2 hours left on him. Before that we gave "Fawn" the new little girl a bath. She was just covered in ticks. She has the apartment to herself with the doggie door. She seems content. Beginning to come out of her shell. Looks like I will be getting her sister and brother next week. HELP! I need some rescues (or adopters) lined up for them. Pix tomorrow. Bed tonight!
5/22: Anyone who has been here knows these guys and their horrendous coats. Fraz does not even look touched but we spent al day Sunday on him. Then we spent another 2 hours on him this morning. Blink and his hair returns to the 'dissaray' stage. We did not get to Leslie or Pumpkin.
5/26:  Computer crashed. 
5/27:  I'm back on the internet for the moment. I would like to string up Bill Gates by his ankles and leave him dangling until he releases all the hostages he took with windows 10. Nothing but trouble since 10 snuck in and took over without my consent. And to fix it, they have the nerve to tell me I need to PAY! I just want 8 back but they won't give it to me.
5/29: Why do I make plans? Nothing on the list get done....because.... "Events" happened. Planned to do the weed eating and spray for ticks. Got up to a dog fight. Not even really out of bed when it started. Nothing major, but Parker jumped Cotton. Sort of like two 95 year old men throwing punches. No umph and no energy, just a lot of commotion. But because of the "excitement", Goofy "let go". I usually get up, grab clothes on and get him out the door before the damn bursts. Well, it burst through out the house as he ran to see what was going on. I scrubbed floors and hauled out area rugs before I even got dressed or fed them. That shot the coolness of the morning to be outside. I ended up cleaning the laundry room shelves. Amazing what you find that you didn't know you had (and have several of) and a lot you'd never use. Before I rested in front of FB, I did get the weeds sprayed with vinegar, dawn soap and water. It does work, but very slowly. They are weeds in an area I can't use my trimmer. Hope tomorrow will not hold any unwelcome events. I need to paint rocks so I can mow and not tear up the blades on my new (to me) lawnmower. Wed and Thursday I drop dogs off at the vets to get baths. Who goes will depend on who I can catch... The wild ones are due.
5/31: Fraz and Emo got a bath. Cola and Patty are tomorrow. Kathleen and I did the 'comb outs' last week when she was here. They go into the vets for just a bath. Pumpkin is way over due but she is too much for me to do by myself. Four was quite an accomplishment for the 2 1/2 days Kathleen was here.
     Feeling serene. Looking out on a mowed lawn and a weed eated back yard and a clean house is rare. What a delight to find someone who would actually work!! I did the mowing and the house cleaning, but a guy and his wife weed eated and raked the hill (it is a steep acre). It gave me the motivation to do the things I can. Having things half done is so depressing. They will be back Friday to clean the fountains and pull weeds out of the flower beds. The place may actually look good for the first time since Tim left 15 months ago.
6/1: Snowflakes sticking their uneducated noses into things they know nothing about. Facebook has created a social awareness like nothing in the history of humanity.
6/2: What part of 9:00 a.m. do people not understand? Are the 2 zeros too confusing? Oh, I forgot, millennials can't count back change either. Dumb me! So much for the rest of the weed eating and getting the deck pressure washed. Neither guy has shown up nor bothered to call or message that they were running late. GRRR! Oh, the weed person just messaged. At least some consideration.
    Almost 4 a.m. I am just waiting for the allergy pill to kick in. Woke up sneezing around 1 a.m. Same last night even though I took one before going to bed. I refuse to be allergic to dogs! I think Sadie goes out and rolls in the grass before jumping on the bed with me.
6/3: I swear it's Monday. At least it is sure acting like a Monday. I lost my footing on the gravel feeding the wild bunch. Luckily no food was spilled because a big post 'caught' my fall. Picture below. Then going down to feed the shop bunch, I tripped on a rock. Now that rock has been there since the history of time and this is not the first time my foot just jumped over there and caught it. Only went to my knees. No food in hand this time. Coming back up, I tripped over a stump. Now that stump has been there for as long as I have lived here and rarely do I manage to miss it. Just a hurt toe. I did stay upright. I think God is telling me "QUIT TAKING DOGS" and get on with retirement. So if that is the case, where are all those other earthly angels who are going to take the ones we rescues don't take? Anyway, I'm going to lay on the loveseat and pet dogs and hope none paw me with their claws. My plans for work outside has just become to dangerous.
6/4: Heaven just drained all it's lakes right here on Mountain Home! I was down with Kate, the new girl, petting her and boom! I brought her to the house. Only one who was not receptive was Sadie, but I straightened her out quick. They are all more afraid of the storm then a new dog in the house. Kate has assumed a position near the wild bunch. Interesting. Will see what happens when the storm is past. This time I'm hoping for a few hours. That will force the pack to get use to her and make things much easier for me.
6/5: We have so much Government regulations, but here is one area that needs just that. Sadly people are taking advantage of ADA so their animals can go everywhere with them. It hurts those who really do need assistance animals. Guide dogs for the blind and medical alert dogs should be the only ones that fall into this "they can go anywhere and everywhere' category. And their needs to be an overseeing agency to test the credibility of the trainers and certifiers of these dogs. An unscrupulous public has seen a great advantage and is ruining it for the truly handicapped.
6/8: If I vanish tomorrow (6/9) and my phone does not work and my email bounces back and I have no internet and no way for anyone to contact me, you may blame Suddenlink. To hold me over for a few days until my new provider gets me hooked up, they say I have to pay a full month... in advance... $110.17. I will not be held hostage!!! It should be against the law to change rules for people they already serve.
6/11: I finally saw it! One time I really wished I'd had a cell phone with camera. Went to Wal-mart.... you know where this is going...... She was a 'hefty' gal with a black sleeveless, legless body suit with a black chiffon 'half skirt' (only a skirt on one side). The bare leg side was tattoos with no skin left to ink. Multi colored hair, purple, green and yellow and multi length hair, some shaved, some long, some mid-length. Big city, expect it. Small town Arkansas, kind of a surprise.
6/17: I admit it. I am old and grumpy and becoming more intolerant of stupid people every day! Thanks to Lorie, I was able to smile and 'play nice' when I really wanted to smack some of the "customers" at the craft fair today. Typical "We are responsible breeders. We found homes for 3 puppies before we ever bred our dogs. Guess we will just have to keep the others since she had 6". The list goes on
6/19: Frustrated. I can't lift the gas can, hold the handle, hold open the 'safety spout' and pour. I am not an octopus! I had intended to mow the lawn. So much for that idea.
     I think I am now with NAEC for my internet....but I still have suddenlink mail coming in. I re-arranged my desk and have an extra cable.... and only one monitor is working. I know the cable has something to do with the monitor but tried what I think was every combination. Guess not. Will have to get help. Also NAEC does not offer email!!! So I'm stuck with Yahoo when Suddenlink shuts me off.
6/20: Well, I could not 'bite my tongue' today. A woman was in the vets with a 2 year old Husky and a young Husky pup. I didn't see that the adult was a male, and asked if it was her pup. "No we are going to start breeding when she is old enough". I stayed quite calm and asked if she was aware that there was not a market for more Huskys with so many homeless in shelters. She assured me there was a 'huge market'. I had to say "well, if you really look into it, you will find there are hundreds of purebred Huskys that are in shelters and that will likely be euthanized because they are no longer cute little puppies". She was called into the exam room....probably to keep me from saying more
6/26: Tree guys showed up an hour late but they did get it 90% done. They will have to come back because the root base is dangerous for the dogs and also an invitation to snakes. I canceled my weekly massage because of them being late.
      Then I went to town. By the time I got home I was ready to scream and then it got worse! I took the modem stuff back to Suddenlink. I had canceled their service on the 9th. Well, they said I only canceled the phone. I argued. I could leave the modem thing but they would not give me a receipt because they could not accept it without my service being canceled!!! She gave me a card and said I needed to phone that number. Well, when I got home, I dialed it 3 times, checking the screen to be sure I had dialed correctly. Call could not be completed!!! Went online and dialed another number. The recording would not connect me to a human without my "access" code. I already packed away (or maybe threw away) those receipts. I didn't need them!!! I finally got a human after about 10 different department tries. First he said they had no record of me canceling. Then he said they had recorded that conversation on the 9th. I told him to listen to it. He said he couldn't. We went round and round. I said I was not paying for service I did not use and had canceled and I was not going back into town to return the modem. He said they would pick it up for a $50 charge. I said a lot, surprisingly I did not cuss or say bad words, but they were sure on the tip of my tongue. I told him I didn't care what they did because they were not getting one dime out of me and I was not going to drive to town again to return the modem thing. He was still talking when I said "Conversation over. I've said what I intended and I really don't care to continue this conversation" and I hung up.
     In the mean time, I had stopped at the bank. The guy who worked with me on money transfers to Ozark Dogs retired. I spent a half hour getting no where. The gal made 3 phone calls. Finally got someone who knew something, but not enough. When I got home, there was a message. They had figured it out and to please stop back in and they could do the transfer as it was suppose to be done. In the mean time, I had stopped at the other 2 banks I have accounts with and they were both clueless. The rules have been in effect with the IRS for 3 years so the banks should be knowledgeable.
      Sprite has been returned after 2 years. Sad situation. Anyway, she lost 2 dogs to Blastomicosis and does not know if her third one is going to make it. She does not think Sprite was exposed but I can't take a chance. He is at the vets. It is a send off test and will take 3 days for results. Bill today for him was at $300 and I'll have 3 nights boarding on top of that. If he is negative, I can see if he will fit in the house like he did before. If positive...well, I will cross that bridge if I have to.
    And I could not wait for 2016 to be over with! Silly me thought 2017 could not get worse
6/28: Is it still Monday??? Might as well be. Stove part was wrong so still without my favorite burner. Yard workers showed up late. May seem insignificant, but here is the deal. I have to run all the dogs outside for the stove repairman to come in. Then I have to run all the dog inside for the inner yard to get weed eated. 10 dogs to get out of the main part of the house. They were not happy. Then rounding up 17 dogs off of 3 acres making them all go in the house is not easy. They look at me like "Make up your mind!!!"
P.S. Poor Goofy. He had just pooped and peed so I ignored his agitation at coming in. I sure wish I understood 'dog' language. Diarrhea all over. Barely got one mess cleaned up and it 'hit' again. Got his bottom cleaned and now he's sleeping on the AC vent. What a morning!!!

I have a couple moving into the apartment on the third. The dogs loved her and were happy with him. She is bubbly and excited. He is enthusiastic. She's a little person so at the dogs level and he is a good sized guy so can handle the overly enthusiastic dogs. I'm feeling good about this. Now if Ozark Dogs Rescue could just get some donations. $2000+ in vet bills in the last month and looking at easily another $2000 from now into next month with Sprite's return and April coming in. All unexpected.....
6/29: It is after 11:00. The tree guy was suppose to be here at 9:00. The weed people were suppose to be here at 9:30. My morning is shot. Total inconvenience. I had things I wanted and needed to get done. Instead I sit here and wait. I cleaned the floors but since I did it last night, it was just to feel productive. I emptied the fridge of outdated stuff (took 5 minutes). I've tried to keep busy but there is only so much I can accomplish here in the house WAITING. Dogs just got brushed out a few days ago when Kathleen was here so no need for that. I wanted to mow the grass while it was cool but needed the limbs and branches picked up (weed people were going to do it). It is so hard to get help and then they just peter out after one or 2 times. If I could just say "tough, you lost the work" but so darn hard to fine someone to replace them. No manners and no work ethic. They could at least call!
7/1: I just keep putting one foot infront of the other and hope I don'' fall down too many times.  Goofy can never decide if he wants to go out and pee before he eats dinner or after. I get the leash, we stand on the porch. He refuses to move. We go back in. He eats. Then he races to the back door, leaving a trail all across the house. I'm not sure what happened while I was mopping that up, but as I was getting the many mop rags into the washer, I saw the mattress in the kitchen. The cover was soaked with urine. Maybe Kate had a seizure while laying on it. I just don't know. Everything got to go through 2 full washing cycles. What started out to be just 3 mop towels ended up being 8 mop towels and a mattress cover.
    Livingroom is mopped. Kitchen is mopped. Bedroom is vacuumed. I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. I'm not even going to look back in the other rooms again! At least Goofy's poop is back to normal. That was not the case the past 3 days.
7/2: Goofy has this special bark when he needs me to take him out to potty. One 'woof' and then 10 second delay. Then another, etc. I took him out at around 10:00 but he would not get off the porch. Again 15 to 20 minutes later. Then again and again. This went on until midnight. I was getting quite aggravated. Barely back in bed and he'd start again. Well, this last time out of bed, there was a humongous puddle on the floor and a huge pile in the kitchen. I know Goofy's 'brand' and they were not his.. I am not sure if it was Sprite or Kate (probably Kate because the puddle was a 'squat', not 'hike' ) but not really sure. Apparently Goofy was 'speaking' on behalf of one who was not sure how to 'speak' for themselves. There is a doggie door but I guess the fireworks had whom ever too afraid to go out. Goofy is back on his AC vent now asleep. He did his 'job'. Mommy just didn't figure it out. Next time he just stands on the porch, I will leash up someone else and see if that is what he is telling me. I honestly find his actions quite amazing!
7/3: New helpers in the apartment. She remembers the dogs names better then I do I'm very optimistic. It will help give me several extra hours a day to ..... clean, walk or brush dogs...maybe even relax!
7/4: Barely got any sleep last night because of fireworks until almost midnight. Then some rain. This morning more rain. Glad I'm on a hill. My fountain in front was empty a few days ago. The base is about 6" deep. It's full. Good thing for a French drain or the apartment would have water up to the door or worse. Coming down hard and heavy for almost 6 hours.
7/6: UPDATE: I think I got through to him! They were up at 6 a.m. walking the dogs. Then he came up asking if it was ok to use the weed eater to do the dogs yard. I think I may be getting some "attitude adjustment" help from across the rainbow bridge too

GRRRR! They have been here for 2 full days and 3 nights so far, practically burnt the building down, and not done ANY of the designated jobs, which are spelled out in the agreement that they signed. It has made MORE work for me because I'm having to make special trips to the shop to turn on the dog light at night or turn off lamps they have left on all day when they are not here. My patience is gone! It is 8:30. Per agreement the dogs should have been walked, fed and yards poop scooped by now. They were still in bed. I told them they had 2 days to either get their act together or pack up and get out. You can mess with me, but when it comes to care of the dogs, I have absolutely very little tolerance. And he is using my WiFi on his phone, which has some how blocked all my incoming calls. My son explained it. Since my internet is with the power company, who has no experience in the internet field, they are still having to work out the 'bugs'. Thus I got messages on FB and email that people could not get through to even leave me a voice mail.

7/8: Rest in Peace sweet Millie. My deepest condolences to her loving human family. Millie crossed the Rainbow Bridge this morning. She had been adopted in 2012. She was recently struggling with respiratory problems. Blastomicosis use to be very rare in this area but it is becoming more prevalent. Almost impossible to protect your dog from if it likes to walk in leaves. More difficult to cure then cancer because the warning signs are not there until it is too late. My heart breaks for all who loved Millie. She had so much enthusiasm for life.
7/9: My comment on another post: It irritates the hell out of me that someone is close enough to take a picture (sometimes video) and then throws the burden on rescue. I'm sure the poster is saying to herself that the dogs fate is not on her because she 'asked someone else and they did not act'. I'm just sick of it!!! Get the dog, take it to a vet and then ask for help. DO YOUR PART!! Hell, you were right there!  (I got hell over this one because the gal who took the pix is well respected in the rescue community....however, she chose her words very poorly, leaving the impression that she walked away) 
 7/13:(1) For the fifth time in a row the tree guy has left me hanging and totally inconvenienced me. I have to gather up the dogs and get them inside. I called this morning and he said he was on his way. He showed up pulling a trailer with a lawnmower on it and his pickup bed full to the brim. He was suppose to haulr off the tree stump from the tree he hauled off earlier and to pick up and haul off the other tree he had cut off the fence. No way was he going to fit in on either the truck or the trailer. 2 1/2 hours ago he left to "unload and come right back". GRRR!   (Comment from Marty Laurent: "tree guy left me hanging" brings an image to mind"
(2) I was so excited that Pumpkin, one of the wild bunch was getting a local adopter. We did a meet and greet last week with her dog at the dog park. They have come over 3 times to bond with pumpkin. I just took her to their house to see what the dynamic would be with their Pyr when their Pyr was in her own home. It was not horrible, but it was enough to regress Pumpkin into backing into the utility closet and sitting on the cat. Then we moved to another room and Pumpkin ended up hiding in the closet. It was mutually agreed that this was not going to be an advantageous situation for Pumpkin. I'm sad but having had her 4 years, I had mixed emotions.
7/18: What a day! We worked on grooming Fraz. Kathleen saw a leash on the floor and thought "that's odd" since she didn't remember us bringing one like that in. Well the "leash" slithered across the floor!! We had a snake in the bedroom moving from one bathroom to the other. Just earlier Kate had a seizure and her lip was swollen. She was in the bathroom when she seizured. Putting the events together, we are pretty sure the snake got her. It was just a king snake, thank God. Had some workers here who were not afraid of snakes so they got it out. I'm sleeping on the love seat tonight in the living room!
7/23:  Back on my site.  Yeah!  Most of my blogging has been on Facebook so I will be copy and pasting highlights into this page so dates will not always be in order.  But as for today: 

I saw Kates rear was all a strange yellow this morning. I thought maybe she had a seizure in the night and had wet all over herself. I took her down to the shop to clean her off and it was a horrible slick slime. Well, at first I was worried and puzzled. Then I remembered. Last night I heard what I thought was the typical gnawing on a Nylabone. I went into the bedroom just to check. Chipi did have a Nylabone, but Kate had my 13 oz jar of Vaseline. It was at least 3/4 full when I set it on the shelf next to the bed. It was now empty. Dawn may get oil off of birds but it does not get Vaseline off of dog butts!

Below is back to where I left off when my computer crashed again.
4/2:  Another tick on me.  Not sure if I'm feeling sick from it or from being on the toilet all night.  I found the tick about 2:00 this afternoon.  Started feeling very flushed and hot about 4:00.  Got the dogs all fed and took a hot bath.  Feeling a bit better.  I'm hungry but even afraid to have a glass of milk.  I may fix some rice with milk and sugar. 
     Got a bunch more collars done.  77 in this batch of royal blue.  I should have them finished up by tomorrow evening.  There are 3 patterns I really like.  But then I don't make any I don't like.  Trying to figure out where I'm gong to put them!  Know I'm going to have to buy several tubs new.  Won't be lucky enough to get enough at thrift stores because they use them for stuff. 
     I talked to Dave yesterday.  He's going to help me out getting my daughter.  He has a GPS I can borrow and he will help me program it.  Or he might just take me to get her.  We could eat (well, they could eat) at Lamberts on the way home.  I so miss being able to eat!!! 
3/31:  Granted, I am of average intelligence, but some things just seem so hard for other people to 'get'.  I have 3 unique bank accounts at the same bank.  Lets call them A, B and C.  I want to take $XXX out of A.  I want $XX to go into B and $X to go into C.  She said I couldn't do that.  I had to put $XXX in B and then move $X into C.  It's all my money and it is not in CD's or any time sensitive accounts.   Is this a new banking thing or is she just an idiot?  Like this is BS, crazy and not reality!!  And she looked as ancient as me so not some millennial whose grandpa runs the bank and got her the job..
    More storms coming this weekend in to Monday.  The rain and then sun, the grass is a good  6" tall and the weeds, the ones with the purple flowers, are a good 10" tall.  Two days ago nothing looked like it needed mowed.  I can't get anyone to work.  If it is raining, that's an excuse.  If it's nice weather, then they are off canoeing or drinking beer and driving around with their pick-up windows rolled down waving at other 'good ol' boys they pass.  The guy that came a week ago all eager to work never called or came back.  Speaking of..... today is the last day of the month.  I went to Wal-mart just for some milk and French bread. I noticed so many people just throwing anything in their cart!!  I mean they were not really 'shopping', just grabbing frozen dinners and piling up the cart. I'm not positive how the food stamp card works but it is my understanding if you have not used it all up by end of month, you don't get to carry it over or you get less then the month before. I would bet money that everyone of the people I saw tossing rather then 'shopping' were paying with a food stamp card.  I would have followed and watched except I wouldn't know what one looked like anyway. 
     I finished up 57 black collars yesterday and and a good ways into assembly of 70+ royal blue.  I love this.... but I am totally running out of places to put them.  Just for one size, the 15" to 18", I filled up a plastic tub 24" x 16" x 16" deep.  And there are still about a dozen that overflowed.  I can't get the lid on.  I should have counted.  Intended to.  But I will have to pick up some larger plastic tubs so will count when I transfer them.  I know I will have exceeded 1000 when these blue are done.  Still have about 35 with hot pink, 35 with burgundy, 50 with grey, 50 with turquoise,  and a peach that I am debating on because I don't have a decent match for the webbing.  I have an orange which I had to totally rule out.  Webbing really clashed. Anyway, it comes out to about 4 an hour when things go right. 
     Beth Ann ripped a big hole in her donut collar.  Her burn is starting to look good.  I was down there when it happened. Not sure how it happened but she caught it on something sharp and it popped.  Scared the heck out of all 3 dogs and me.  I did find the others but I think the one I put on her leaks.  Only one that would fit. If it is flat in the morning, I'll have to hope Petco restocked because I had bought the last one in her size.  I hope I can find the box and receipt as it was guaranteed.  Not real sure of this would qualify but will try if I find the receipt.  
3/28:  I was outside picking up dog bowls from the wild bunch.  One on the porch of the dog house still had food so I left it.  Climbed way up on the hill to pick one up.  As I'm going up so is Patty with the full bowl in her mouth.  I did not have the heart to go back down the hill in that direction so went the long way around. 
   This morning we walked everybody but Freedom.  I wanted to walk him too, but I can't walk Fraz and Emo and him.  Betty and Nancy can't walk Fraz and Emo so Freedom will just get a walk alone inside the property.  He will get his stitches out tomorrow so that will be fun!  I need to take Sahara in for HW test too.  She has an appointment Thursday so want to get all the pre-stuff done.  She has a definite heart or lung issue.  I am so faithful with the HW prevention but the mosquitoes have become immune to the ivermectin.  Don't know how I will afford Sentinal for everybody.  Would be about $400 a month.  Ivermectin is about $12. 
     I gave the model railroad club notice to move.  Just a big disappointment that the room was basically storage.  I thought there would be tours with school kids and that members would come out and run the trains.  They held meetings once a month for 2 hours.  That was it.  They were never out at other times.  Just not at all the legacy I wanted for Loren. 
     I've been on quite a roll with the collars.  It is my peace and quiet.... if you can call being pestered by JoJo every 5 minutes peace.  But he so needs it.  I love watching them get so excited when I turn on all the lights.  They know I am staying down!!  I open the gate and JoJo just flies onto the dog bed.  It was really strange today.  JoJo was up there with his bone and Beth Ann was just sitting there staring, or maybe glaring, at him.  He finally got down and she got up!  There is 2 beds, but I think his was more appealing since he was on it.  JoJo is just so good natured. If he would just not mark!!! 
3/24:  Have someone coming to do some work this morning.  I hope he is intelligent and diligent and likes dogs.  I was up early.  Bathroom all night.  I am trying to be so careful but the list of acceptable food is decreasing rapidly.  What was ok a few weeks ago is now not ok.  Running out of ideas.  Pork chop sandwiches are still compatible.   Frozen Yogurt, home made cookies and the $1 muffin mixes are becoming very questionable.  Pizza is out.  The $1 frozen dinners are out.  Baked chicken is out.  Anything I make and freeze is out.  Got to be today fresh.  But as long as I'm good with milk, particularly chocolate milk, I won't complain too much. 
3/23:  Storms are good for progressing the wild bunch towards trust.  I'm not near as scary as the thunder and lightening.  They huddle around me for protection.  I'll take any help i can get, even if it means very little sleep.  Predicted for tonight but Parker is not in the closet or the bath tub so it will either miss us or is more then 3 hours away. 
    I've really been cranking out the collars.  Shoulders and neck hurt, but it is my mental peace.  I cut out and assembled the base for 50 collars this morning.  Got the top fabric cut and overlocked.  Wish I had better thread colors, but buying online is so unpredictable.  Stores don't sell text 69 and that is what I have to use to make them safe.  The webbing I need came today.  I was at a standstill for only a few minutes then it came.  JoJo got a walk while I was 'unproductive' so that made him very happy. 
3/20: Actually the first  day in a long time that I have had any enthusiasm.  There is a craft fair in May at a nearby town called Dogpatch.  It use to be a theme park.  I reserved a booth to sell my collars.  Sandra is coming and she has dog coats she has made.  So we are excited.  It will be fun for both of us.  And I can bring a dog!!
I don't think Goofy will be up to it.  Thinking on Cotton.  I'll need to work with him, taking him to Petco and other places he can go in.  I think he will be fine.  I need a dog that will draw attention.  Goofy was perfect but Cotton is a close second.  Maybe Sadie on the second day.  Not too many white Greyhounds.  I picked up some PVC pipe and clamps from Lowes to make a way to attach a canopy to the tables in the booth.  Didn't buy quite enough so will get the rest tomorrow.  I have plenty of time but want to have a trial run with everything so it goes smoothly when the time comes. I REALLY need Photoshop back.  Not sure how I will do signs by hand and make them look decent.  I also need to make handouts. 
     86 degrees today but thunder storm predicted for around midnight tonight.  Poor Freedom.  I let him stay out last night since it was such great weather.  He did want in at some point but they wouldn't let him.  I will re-introduce him to the pack when he is healed.  Not going to chance stitches being torn out again.  I don't know who went after him.  I will have to keep him in tonight.  Wish I knew for sure that I would wake up about 11 and I'd bring him in then rather then when I go to bed.  He gets really warm in the room.  I do think he missed the petting last night. 
3/18:  Yesterday was a horrible day.  Two trips to town.  Coming home from the second trip, I was stopped at a red light and the gal in the next lane over just decided she wanted in my lane.  She just moved over and scraped all along the side of my car.  It is not dented but took the pain off to bare metal.  Will have to be fixed or it will rust.  People don't realize the expense of getting paint match and having to paint the whole panel..  Anyway, my shopping attempt had already failed.  Needed to match the yellow terry cloth with some print.  Everything clashed.  So I get home and get the clumsies.  I was getting Freedom in to feed him and tripped over the deck step.  Full body slam to the deck.  Toe was really throbbing.  Left my shoe on until night as was afraid I'd torn off the nail.  So, anyway, after that, I went to feed the wild bunch and my pant leg caught on a nail on the ramp.  My body proceeded forward but my leg did not.  At least I didn't have the food bowls in my arms. 
   Still fighting with Ballard over that ridiculous $150 charge.  It is more about ethics then money.  BBB is negotiating because I told them that if I initiate a conversation, that my give him the idea he can charge me again.  He can call me.  I'm not calling him.  If I open my mouth on volition, it puts me at a disadvantage.  What I want is a written apology and admission that what he did was wrong.  I'll never get it.  Men just don't think they ever need to apologize for anything.  And they certainly will NEVER admit to being wrong.  I don't like people, but "professional" men are ass holes.  Doesn't matter if they are a lawn care service or house painter or a lawyer or a doctor or anyone in between.  They are all ass holes when it comes to how they try to take advantage of elderly women. 
    I gave the model railroad club notice to move.  They just disappointed me completely.  It was important that it be a legacy for Loren but it became a deserted warehouse where they only showed up once a month for a meeting.  No one came out and 'played train'.  No one ever brought youth groups out.  It was a 'do not touch' display that was not even displayed except to members once a month for 2 hours.  And they could not even turn off the water on the toilet.  It was the only thing I asked because a leak would fill up the holding tank and that's $275 to pump.  And the toilet is so gross, I'm sure it will have to be tossed and replaced.  Men are such pigs!  Yes, I'm on a hate men roll!!! 
   I took new Nylabones down for JoJo.  You would have thought he was a child on Christmas morning.  He was so excited.  The old ones were getting dangerously small so they needed tossed.  I took down 6 for the 3 dogs.  Beth Ann wanted them all.  She was creating a stash which I quickly put a stop to.  She gets very jealous of JoJo and he is so passive.  He just looks with soulful eyes, like "I'm sorry" when he didn't even do anything wrong.
3/11:  SNOW!!!   Lots of it.  Beautiful but not fun.  Dogs soaked my bed as their snow covered bodies thawed.  Glad I went to the store when I did as I just got home as it was starting.  That was 3 hours ago.  It has not stopped. 
     I really wanted to get some collars sewed but I only had 3 fabrics that would match the terrycloth.  And looking at the webbing in a different light, it is wrong too so will have to match the leash to the fabric and not the terrycloth.  I know I should not have started that color but once committed, I will do what ever to make it work..... including taking a swatch to Wal-mart and being packed like a sardine in the store. Everyone beating the 'snow day'.  JoJo was so disappointed I didn't stay when I went to feed.  I had promised him I would stay at dinner time. 
     There was a FB video that reminded me of someone from a long time ago.  I did a search and found out he died at 63, 3 years ago.  There is just something about knowing people younger then me have passed away.  Makes me wonder why am I still here?  Do I still need to get it right or still something more I need to do?  Dogs to take care of.  Great grandkids to meet.  Something entirely different?  Or maybe I'm just a day away.  We just don't know. 
     Goofy and Sadie have been poop heads lately.  Both have decided to be door monitors and decide who comes in and who can't.  It is very difficult.  Storm last night had everyone on edge.  As soon as the wild bunch started into the livingroom, Goofy chased them out.  I had to go out in the storm and escort them in!  Goofy got a good scolding.  Sadie has done the same and she too has gotten scolded.  This is not going to happen and they need to stop it or Goofy will find himself closed in the family room and Sadie will be in a crate.  I need sleep! 
     It is only 5:18 but ready to go soak in a hot bath and then go to bed.  I know I won't sleep worrying that one of the dogs will be kept from coming inside.  Divide and conquer, I hope.  
3/8:  Kathleen, Bob and their friend Harold cam down Sunday.  Got a load of the 'small stuff' accomplished.  So grateful.  They are heading back home today.  We got Freedom in for his dental.  One tooth was pulled.  His tumor removed.  Not talked to Wendy yet to see what she thinks.  Not going to do a biopsy as I would not treat if it was cancer anyway.  Never put a dog through that.  We picked him up just minutes after his surgery.  Carried him to the car on a stretcher and brought him home.  Closed him in the bedroom with me and Kathleen where we could watch him.  We combed on him and trimmed his hair around his mouth.  Something that was not possible when he is awake!  A few hours later when he was functioning, I put him on leash and walked him all over the 2 acres.  He was so good on leash.  This was his first time ever!   I let him do the leading, but put pressure on the leash when he would want to go where I didn't.  When we got to one tree, he decided to go around it, again and again.  I was getting dizzy!  Kathleen was watching out the window, laughing.  I was laughing too.  I didn't care where we went as long as Freedom was not freaking. 
     Trying to get him to his bowl to get his pills before Patty stole them was not a pleasant experience this morning.  No, mission was not accomplished. He won't eat if separated.  Patty has figured out through the weeks that Freedoms 'topping' is good and she doesn't always get a topping on hers.  I did put chicken on every bowl, but she zeroed in on his and they they would all run if I tried to detour her.  I took the pills out and put them in the fridge.  I'll try again later.  Very frustrating. 
     Goofy is doing good since back on the SD crap.  I did get a digestive support from iVet which I will try.  SD is $85 for 27.5 pounds.  iVet is less then $50 for 33  pounds and probably a whole lot better and more nutritional.  I didn't know they made a digestive formula.  Both ingredient labels are really bad, though.  Corn, Gluten, Barley, etc.   Not much choice since cooking chicken with rice, green beans and carrots didn't help stop the flow. 
     Trying to decide if I will start a new color of collars today or finish burning leaves or start cleaning the house walls.  Already finished 2 loads of laundry.  Just have to wait until the ones in the dryer are dry to start the next.  Need to go to the store for soap and fabric softener.  Some loads will be fine without the softener, but some will be less them comfortable, like the load drying now.  Oh well.  Didn't realize I didn't have a 'back up' bottle. 
     My daughter is coming April 18 and staying 3 weeks.  I am excited.  I hope my intestines behave so we can go some places.  I know she will enjoy going through all my stuff and helping have a yard sale.  She loves that kind of thing to do.  Kathleen will come down and help with the sale.  I so want the stuff gone. 
2/27:  Got the floor cleaned in the family room.  When it dries, I'll get the furniture dusted off and sofa scrubbed. Hopefully this time, it will stay a 'no dog' zone.  I want it cleared out of excess furniture but that will happen when we have the yard sale.  Trying so hard to get things nice and presentable so I can put this house up for sale...officially.  So much to do and so hard working alone.   So thankful my daughter is coming and she loves 'going through stuff' and having a yard sale.  I hate both! 
    Beautiful day weather wise.  Shiloh is perky today.  How do they read our minds.  Well, actually I told her last night she had a very special family coming to take her home forever and that she would be the queen.  I think she really understood.  She didn't even get on the bed with me last night.  Just laid right beside it where I could 'hang over' and touch her. 
     Canceled JoJo's immiticide HW treatment as several people I know and trust swear by the Advantage Multi curing in 6 months.  So much safer and way less stressful....and cheaper!!!    Also canceled Beth Anns appointment to have surgery.  Told of several other options to try on the wound.  I am not sure if the donut is keeping her from licking the wound or not but it looked better last night.  Money is running low and I just can't be throwing out $500 and $1000 for surgeries/ procedures that may be avoided and cost just a few hundred combined. 
     Afternoon:  Shiloh is on her way to her forever home.  I usually don't get choked up, but this is different.  Not only a very special dog (they all are) but the last Pyr that I will have placed.  End of an era.  They are fabulous people and I know they will spoil her.  She got in their vehicle (with a boost up) and laid right down.  She looked resigned.  I really do think she understands.  Damn, this is so hard...... 
2/24: barely....   Weather is beautiful.  Starry sky, gentle breeze, about 65 outside at midnight and 5' of pollen.   Hope the allergy pill kicks in soon. 
        Still feel so bad about Molly.  I keep thinking how scared she must be.  It is just not fair.  People make me so angry.  It is not like her mommy can't come home.  This is almost like when I was caring for Annie and I told her mommy she was dying from grief and she needed to come home.  But she wouldn't.  Left me with the horrible choice.  I waited as long as I could, but age had taken it's toll and this stress of feeling abandoned was too much for her.  Just wrong.  Unless you are dead, incapacitated or captive, you CAN choose to be where you are needed.  But then some people are not real 'dog' people.   I admit I was one of them once and how I regret some choices...but I was young.  These dog mommies are not.  
      I'm excited.  My daughter is coming to stay for the month of April.  If she drives, my granddaughter will come with, fly back home, then return for the drive home.  She can't stay because of work and other responsibilities but I will be so glad to see her too. 
      Shiloh has a very excited adopter.  I switched out Beth Anns vet appointment for Shiloh so I can be sure she is fine before she leaves Saturday.  I'm sure what I am seeing is from the stress Molly caused her, but want to be sure.  I also want to be sure she is not in someway injured.  She did get knocked off the deck and fell about 2' from Molly attacking her.  With her bad leg, things like that are more scary then normal. 
     Guess the Zurtec is kicking in.  Just an itchy nose remains.  Back to bed! 
2/23:  Over the edge.  I rarely totally come unglued but I am there this morning.  Molly has got to leave.  She is a good dog and as sweet as can be but she terrorizes my guys.  Poor Shiloh is scared to move without me escorting her from room to room.  If any of them go outside in the middle of the night to potty, she follows them out and then sits on the deck and growls, not letting them come back, even within 40 feet of the house.  I have to get up, put on shoes and go escort them in.  I may have an adopter for Shiloh, but right now, Shiloh is not acting right.  It is probably just being terrorized, but it could be illness.  Until Molly leaves or I spend umpteen $$$ on tests, I can't let Shiloh leave not knowing the cause. 
     I had to take Shiloh with to go feed the 3 in the shop because I can't leave her alone for a second with Molly.  I discover Beth Ann has broken the blow up collar that keeps her from licking her wound.  I did not get to Petco yesterday to get the smaller size.  Will that be $40 wasted?  Will she break it too? 
     I could not stay down in the shop long enough to wait for JoJo and Sadena to finish eating, so when I do get back down there, I will have a bowl full of pee.  JoJo does that a lot.  I'm just too tired and can't take it.  I can be fine with my 'forever' bunch; Goofy, Parker, Cotton, Sahara, Zelda, Hanna, Chipi, Leslie and Freedom.  I am even ok with Patty, Pumpkin, Fraz, Emo and Cola.  Sadie is a doll and no trouble.  But I am worn out with trips to the shop to feed, medicate, bandage, poop scoop, change water......   I've got too many 'needy' dogs.  Goofy is finally getting over his diarrhea but the Science Diet I/D is total crap.  It works but has no nutritional value what so ever. 
     Just took Molly to boarding.  Broke my heart but have to put my guys first.
     Swapped Beth Anns' vet appointment to Shiloh so I can be sure she is ok.  I don't want to send her if she is sick.  Guess I will head to Petco and get a new blow up collar for Beth Ann.  Dang allergies are already starting....  
2/21: Beth Ann has been here since July 2015!  I had her burns under control and we were getting close.  Now her burn has really grown and looks terrible just in the past few days.  Had to put her by herself because she is so sore that she is afraid Sadena will jump on her and she is getting really protective.  I don't blame her.  So she has the second apartment all to herself.  I need to go to Petco tomorrow and see if they have a large blow up collar.  I have med and XL.  The XL is too big but has to do for the night.  Surgery is planned for her next week.  Freedom is the following week.  Then 2 weeks after that is JoJo  I think my bank account will have just enough money left for another month of food and it will be empty.  I had figured it would get me through July.  Not going to happen.  Molly will be here until about the 5th.  Kathleen and Bob are coming on the 6th to help with Freedom.  I'm just so warn out and just thinking about this next 30 days has me even more worn out.  At least Goofys diarrhea is under control.  He is on expensive 'prescription formula'  food and it seems to be working .  I am grateful for that. 
2/19:  All the extra dogs are gone.  Miss them, yet don't.  Molly has been at Lisa's dads for several days.   I don't want her traumatized, which I know boarding wiould do to her for 2 weeks, but also hate my guys being traumatized by her.  If she would behave or not chew up the chain link, or get along with JoJo, being here would be fine.  But she won't.  Hoping her 4 day visit away from here will put her more at ease and she will not feel the need to climb the pack ladder.
     I hurt so bad the past few days.  There is a decompression machine at the chiropractor and it pulled on my hips.  I didn't feel any discomfort then, but I have paid the price since.  I looked it up and there are a few warnings.  Since my hip problem has never been diagnosed in 68 years of problems, I suspect I have one of those conditions that it warns about. 
     Handyman came to look over my list today.  Don't know how it will work out.  I hate that I can not do the simplest things anymore.  Can't even get on a step stool to change a light bulb or bend down to re-nail a baseboard.  I just want this house in shape so the 'final clean up' will be easy when I am ready to move.  If I can get things done, I'll list it 'by owner' on Zillow directing it to an 'animal' lover audience.  It is so perfect for that and I hate to see all my hard work torn down.
2/15... barely.  12:12 a.m.  Just got back in the house.  One of the rescues' dog was out.  At least it didn't leave.... but if it had of, I wouldn't be up.  The dogs would have stopped barking and I would have figured it was another critter causing their dissatisfaction.  I was waken an hour earlier by a dog fight.  Molly just has issues and I am about to go crazy.  She attacked both Chipi and then Shiloh when they tried to come in the bedroom.  Since I was up chasing a loose dog, I figured I'd put her with JoJo.  So moved the other 2 and got her.  That went terribly bad.  JoJo, who loves everybody, sensed her vibes and went after her the minute we got through the door.  I'm at a loss of what to do aside from sticking her in boarding.  She will trash any room I close her in.  Guess I will tote up a crate and she is going to get a crash course in crate training.  I'll put it in the bedroom next to my bed.  And if she fusses, I'll leave her and go sleep in the other room.  I can't have my guys afraid to come in out of the rain or afraid to even come near me for attention. 
    There is a farm for sale in Twin Falls that adjoins my son-in-laws farm.  It is far enough out, no one would notice the dogs.  Also, since it is an area that everyone knows everyone, being 'family' would give me a welcome.  Only problem is I'd have to finance half until this place sold.  I really don't want in that kind of a bind.  If it is meant to be, something will happen to make it happen.  Because my daughter is most likely moving there and my grandson has already started the moving process, I want more then ever to be there.  I'd be giving up a lot and the 'unknown' is so scary.  But if you don't try, you never know.  One thing about this farm, it would 'stay in the family' so I could spread the dogs ashes that I have accumulated for the past 12 years.  I would grow trees for each one.   
2/13:  Just finished steam cleaning 9 area rugs.  I still have the big white one to go.  Yesterday was finishing up washing 19 mattress covers and cleaning 2 dog pillow beds.  So far no accidents yesterday or last night.  The weather is nice so he has been laying on the deck.  I still have 4 large rubber mats and 3 small entry mats to hose off that are out there.  Thank god he didn't spray the walls.  Anyway, I will need to get the white rug done tomorrow as really need to be able to park back in the garage.  Darn.... I forgot I need to wash the 2 mattress covers in the garage.  
     Called the handiman I gave some scrap fencing to a few months ago.  I've called several times.  He does not check messages!  Anyway, I hope he can get to some of the stuff I need done.  It's pretty basic stuff, but I am just not capable.  Don't dare stand on a ladder to even change a light bulb.  Being alone and no one 'checking in' on me makes me very careful.  I've known too many people who either suffered for days or died and weren't discovered for days.  I don't think my dogs would eat me but I really would not want them going hungry and being confused because I was not taking care of them.
     The other rescues dogs leave Saturday.  I will miss 2 of the 6 but not a lot.  Be glad when Molly can go home.  She is becoming a problem.  She lays on the deck at night (if she can't be on the bed with me) and won't even let the others come into the lower yard.  I'm up and down all night making sure everyone can get in.  I just can't be toting water way up the hill for them.  She won't even let them near the gate for a drink.  I'm just really tired. 
2/11:  Kathleen has been here helping.  Good timing.  Goofy has had a huge bout of diarrhea. I was up at 6:30 to discover it.  Every area rug.  Every toddler bed.  Every dog pillow except one.  But several hours later after changing all mattress covers and 6 loads of laundry, hauling out rugs and scrubbing floors, he did us the pleasure of getting the remaining dog pillow.  We did get some dogs combed out.  I was exhausted so headed to a hot bath and plan for bed by 5 p.m.  Out of the tub only to find a 'blast' through the house again.  I fed him chicken, brown rice and green beans with Metranidazol and pro-biotic for dinner thinking that would settle his tummy.  Good thing I withheld the kibble.  Cars are in the drive way.  Area rugs in the garage.  Tomorrow will be a long day getting them clean.  I have to keep them down because Goofy has a hard time with the slick floors.  I'm really tired.......
2/6:  Got the hospital bill from Nov.  Thought between medicare and the VA, it would be pretty much covered.  I'm devastated!  Medicare paid 1%.  Yes one percent.  VA paid 8%.  Leaving me with almost an $8000 bill.  So much for moving.  I will fight it, though.  If I have to use blackmail, I will.  They sent me out at 3 a.m. after several hours on morphine to drive myself home.  It took me an hour and a half to drive about 7 miles.  I kept throwing up and I knew I was not 'sober',  Do think they have some liability issue there that they probably really don't want made a public court case.  If I was on welfare or an illegal, it would have been free.
     I put Beth Ann in with Sadena.  I figured she would do fine again once she settled in.  I got a hold of Ryan about taking her to teach her to not chase cars and to get over her dog aggression.   I'm second thinking it because of this money issue.  Just not fair how health care can ruin families.  Mine is minor, but just makes me stop and realize how horrible it is that life is seen as a profit. 
    Got my massage today.  Didn't have time to sew and JoJo and Flicker (the visitor) are upset because I didn't spend time with them.  I will sew tomorrow.  Kathleen will be here Wed thru Sunday to help comb some dogs.  I left a message for a handiman I gave some fencing to.  I have a list that Kathleen and I can't do.  We already 'fixed' a shelf and it was a disaster.  I kind of hit the wrong place with the hammer and broke the side.  I need to leave difficult stuff to the experts.  A few years ago, I could have fixed it without breaking it.    Getting old, getting arthritic and getting bills I didn't expect can sure ruin an otherwise decent day...week ... month ....year.....
2/5:  Week has slipped by.  I've been spending a lot of time sewing, making collars, to relax.  The house is a mess, but if I dust mop up leaves in the morning, they are just back in the evening.  I'm not in the house to look at them, so I only dust mop them out in the evening before I go to bed.  Crazy since I am in bed not seeing them, but I have this thing about treading through leaves in the semi dark.  Some I cannot distinguish from Goofys' poop.  Kicking a leaf out of the way with my toeless slipper is not always a wise choice.
    Beth Ann is back.  I feel bad all the way around.  She was just too much for the people. They tried.  Beth Ann is just a challenge for anyone.  I thought she would recognize Sadena but that did not happen.  I'll have to work around it.  Hope a day alone will make her more accepting.  Sadena is in the same yard they shared before.  But there are a lot of unfamiliar dogs here with the other rescue, so she is a bit uneasy.  OK, a lot uneasy.  I'm going to see if Ryan will take her and work with her.  Just so darn expensive, but not a lot of choices. 
     I never made it to the grocery store today.  Out of chocolate milk.  It is like a normal person being out of coffee.  Ido have white milk and Nestles Quick so that will have to suffice in the morning.
    Todays weather got so nice.  Froze the past 2 nights.  Knock on wood, a mild winter so far.  Summer was soggy wet so guess the weather gods are trying to balance things out.  Buzzards are circling about a mile west.  Must be large as there are about 20 of them.  Usually just see 4 or 5.  Sad, what ever died, but guess all creatures need to eat. 
1/30:  I will never open mail again on Saturday.  Stuff that is WRONG and I can't fix until Monday so don't sleep all weekend.  Too much stress.  I hate incompetence and the government is full of it.  So are banks and financial institutions.... and 'tech support' people in all areas.  Took me 6 phone calls to get someone who spoke English and didn't need a book to answer my question.  Actually got the state government person to admit she made a mistake.  My past financial person is going to have to fix one BIG mistake.   I will have to deal with the bank tomorrow.  The idiot on the phone was just idiot. 
     I must have spilled food in my keyboard.  Time to save and give it a good shaking.                                           
1/28:  A monumental "first".  Freedom got a bath.  It was not planned.  Someone really did a number on him and there was blood and a lot of dirt.  I had to get him clean to find the source of the blood.  Luckily Dena and Susan were here feeding the dogs I'm providing space for.  Without their help, I never could have managed.  He was scared enough of them to run in the shower to hide.  It took some maneuvering to make that his only route, but it worked.  He was actually really good once he relaxed.  I think he was either too petrified to move or he likes the feel of the water.  He eventually laid down.  Of course, the reason behind that could have also been because he didn't want me washing his butt.  What ever, 90% of him got clean.... well, maybe 85% but what ever, it got done.  Luckily he is only double coated in spots!  Weird but then he is quite unique.  I got him as towel dried as I could.  My blanket on my bed is soaking up the rest f the water.  DeJaVou.  And the sheets have only been on the bed a few days. 
     Molly got accepted by the pack so one relief.  I'm dog setting while Lisa is gone for a month taking care of some relatives estate.  The condo only allows dogs under 25 pounds.  Don't think Molly qualifies. 
     I'm not feeling very good.  I think between all the smoke from burning leaves,  all the hard work raking them, then the cold weather and then this shower with Freedom.  I'm running a fever and my face is really flushed.  A glass of milk and I'm off to bed..... a wet bed... but that's ok.  I'm sure there is a few areas that are dry if I can twist my body in just the right direction.
1/27:  I'm working with the greatest bunch of gals, providing space for the dogs being rescued.  Today was a very sad day.  One of the dogs that had just been spayed that they "wanted to keep" got hit by a car and died.  But that is only half the story.  What led up to this is far worse.  And there is nothing we can do about it.  Sadly, several other dogs will have to be returned, after vetting, as a promise was made.  We have fought back tears. When I meet a dog, it is an attachment that never leaves me.  This dog was here, even though for only a day. We just have to be grateful for the ones who got rescued and will move on to good, loving homes.
      I burned leaves from 9:30 a.m. to 3:00.  Way too long.  Way too much raking.  Way too much smoke.  The biggest pile still needs moved to a safe burn area.  All done by hand as it is between the house and the dog yards.  80 or 90 feet moving a stack 4' high by 6' wide by 12 feet long.  I don't think my poor dislocated fingers will be able to handle it.  They are so sore tonight just from moving a stack that size 20'.  
     Sadie won't get to sleep with me tonight because she is picking on one of the visiting dogs.  He is a really sweet Rottie.  I expect the wild bunch to be poops, but shame on Sadie.  She is going out of her way to bark at him.  She will have to stay on the other side tonight. 
1/26:  Hate mistakes.  But then anything to do with government forms one is bound to make mistakes.  Expecting a check.  "Found treasures"  "Unclaimed property".  Loren had some stock that I didn't know about.  Not much, but it will buy a few bags of dog food.  So I was let down that I have to fill out a certain form again and go back to the bank and get it notarized.  Also got the form I need for my property tax exemption so will do both tomorrow.  I'm sure the assessors office will say I have to 'wait until March' to bring it in.  Then they will have to start all over removing the tax. 
     "Flicker" is one of the dogs I am providing space for.  Cute little guy.  He was walking lopsided.  Turns out a horrid ear infection.  I've moved him into the shop with JoJo and Sadena where I can more easily medicate the ear, plus he has separation anxiety and cried all night last night.  I think in the shop, he will feel better having company and not being alone.  And NO, I am not keeping him!   It has really turned cold so I hope someone gets out here to feed the others soon incase they think we need to put heaters in the yards.  I can't carry them.  They are too heavy. 
     I spent another day in the shop.  I just hung 52 more collars on the rack.  Guessing about 12 hours work.  Before I start more, I am re-doing some I did a long time ago.  Better plan now.  Only takes about 4 minutes each to re-work them and I salvage some extra hardware.  Don't know where I will put the next batch I make.  The wall is full.  About 700 collars now.  Maybe even close to 800.  Goal is 1000 hanging.  I really need to take some pix.  They are all so beautiful.  Goofy and Parker both need new, but I can't decide which I like best for either of them.  Everyone else has fairly new ones.  Some dogs just project a color. like Chipi is yellow.  Pumpkin is peach.  Zelda is green.  Goofy has been burgundy, but it is not 'his' color.  I'm not sure what color is his.  Parker has been blue.  He is more teal. or navy. 
1/24:  Sewed most of the morning.  I should have checked phone messages first.  Oh well.  So things don't always get attended to.  I'm still ready for that cave, as long as it has electricity so I can sew and cook food for me and the dogs.  Have a vet appointment with Hanna tomorrow.  The tremors may be caused by something in her nose or sinus cavity.  When Kathleen was here Hanna had a bad one.  I rubbed her nose and it quit like turning off a switch.  We were both in total disbelief.  So it is worth looking into. 
   Goofy insists on a 'routine'.  Sometimes he has dementia, though.  He wants his walk.  Normally I take him down to the shop when I feed JoJo.  That is our morning and evening 'trip'.  Tonight he just wanted to go out the front door, walk around to the side and come in through the family room.  Didn't even pee.  Other times he just wants to stand in the driveway and watch leaves blow by.  I look at him and see myself in a few years.  I hope who ever is around me is as kind and understanding and patient as I am for him. 
   While we were traveling around the house, I saw Cotton out in the field rolling in mulched leaves.  He was having a great time.  I think he does it just so I will give him attention combing them out before bedtime.  I should say "I hope it was leaves he was rolling in!"  .
1/22:  Discovered one of the wild bunch is feeding the squirrels.  Several tote full food bowls up the hill.  Never thought much of it until yesterday.  The bowl was very strategically placed by a small hole in the bottom of the fence.  Several squirrels were scurrying back and forth, gathering goodies.  They, however are not going to share with the fox nor the skunk who have paid several visits. 
      JoJo is enjoying my sewing time in the shop.  I'm really on a roll!  I've done 50 slip leads and finished 25 or so martingale collars in 2 days.  I love it.  Having such a great time being creative.  I'll be at 1000 slip leads soon.  That is not counting the 100 or so I sent with dogs, sold or gave away.  Maybe I will find a sales outlet someday, but I really don't care.  It is my relaxation and if it becomes a 'business' it will no longer be fun nor relaxing. 
1/20:  I'm providing space for some rescue dogs.  Just space.  Gal is taking care of their needs.  Yesterday 3 came.  Black Mouth Kerr maybe.  Barked and howled all night!   My guys kept barking at them to shut up, but they didn't listen.  My guys finally gave up about midnight and went to sleep.  Guess they can sleep through anything that is not considered threatening or interesting.  Shiloh got up on the bed with me and laid crosswise on the pillows.  She worked so hard to get up there, I didn't have the heart to even re-adjust her.  I had a sliver of a space.  What I didn't use, Sadie did. 
     Two small hounds came today.  I'm sure the melody of last night will be twice as loud tonight.  They are all just ribs.  Heartbreaking.  Typical sad situation.  Country people with no money taking in dumped dogs and way in over their head and don't have a clue how to get help.  There are 29.  They will keep 6 that will be returned after they are altered and vaccinated. 
    Spent about 5 hours in the shop today.  Finished off 25 collars.  JoJo loves me being down there.  If I am standing at the work table, he leaves me alone, but as soon as I sit at the machine, he is there for attention.  .Since I am up and down a lot, he does become a pest.  Sadena is sniffing my hand but not letting me do the touching.
1/19:  Finally got some quiet at midnight.  Mr. Fox and Peppi-La-Pue were busy until then.  Luckily no one was close enough to 'get it', but the back yard did indicate he was in full presence.   There is a small area from outside the fencing that is open to under the deck.  Once something gets under the deck, it has to go out the same way it came in.  I suspect that was the case. 
  Kathleen spent several day here and brought Lakota.  He was confused.  Know when she would come up to the house, he was thinking he was being returned.  Poor guy.  We didn't get much accomplished, but we had fun.  We are just too old and decrepit to be on the floor combing on dogs that do not want to cooperate.
   I am ready to go take a bath and go to bed, but waiting on someone who may or may not come tonight. 
1/14:  Feeling 'normal'.  Able to log into my site and just type away!   It's 9 a.m. and we are all fed.  Pumpkin is 'on this side' and is in quite a tizzy about it.  She is my vocal one always barking angrily through the sliding glass door at these guys. Now she is with them and does not have her 'wild bunch' to back her up. What an attitude adjustment.  She is not afraid to come inside so I am going to leave here over here while I go sew and keep JoJo company.  The results of her extended separation will be interesting.  I'll know tonight. 
1/13/17:  Finally have my site capabilities back.  Computer crash thanks to Bill Gates and Windows 10 forced on me.  Lost everything on the laptop and a whole lot of programs on my desk top.  166 GB from the laptop.  I hope he's sitting by the 10th window on his jet when a meteor crashes through that window.