DH (Dear Husband) Bailey & the Water Nazi

 I took Bailey to a puppy kindergarten class (7 years ago) that had a "water-nazi" running around. I didn't like the class at all. The instructor spent the first 20 minutes of every class showing us what great tricks his dog could do and the water-bottle lady was merciless. This woman would sneak up behind people and YELL "No Barking" as she squirted the dogs in the face. Since Bailey was the mouthiest puppy in class, he ended up being her favorite target. It startled the heck out of both of us every time she did it. I should have quit the class, but it was the first doggie-class I'd ever gone to and I didn't know any better, plus I paid the full amount up front and didn't want to waste my money.

One week I had to go out of town on class-night and I foolishly decided that my husband should take Bailey to class. I don't know what the heck I was thinking because DH was a cop and I knew how he reacted to be startled. Someone sneaking up on him and pointing a foreign object in his direction was just a recipe for disaster. DH had endured my complaints about the class, so he went in there with a bad attitude to start with.

I had pre-warned him about the water-bottle lady, but he apparently underestimated her stealth and veracity. She was standing directly behind him when Bailey decided to sound off. She yelled "NO BARKING" right in DH's ear and he spun around, grabbed her gun-toting...er I mean bottle-toting arm by the wrist, jerk it up and back and was within a micro-second of doing a leg-sweep on her when he regained control of himself and backed off. She started squealing, Bailey went into attack mode, all the dogs freaked out and chaos ensued.

The instructor ran over and started yelling at my husband, who was really embarrassed and PO'd. A verbal confrontation then took place, none of which can be repeated here, but it involved "stupid pet tricks" and "where that bottle was going to end up". Needless to say DH and Bailey left the building - and in a final act of defiance, Bailey pooped on the floor on the way out of the door.

We spent the next few days dreading the knock on the door which would bring assault charges against my husband. Fortunately it never happened. To the best of my knowledge DH still holds the distinction of being the only person ever ejected from puppy kindergarten in our town.

by Kelly, Bailey & Skylers mom

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