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Carol's Blog for 2019


The views and opinions expressed in this blog are the personal views of Carol and are not necessarily intended to reflect the views of the
Ozark Dogs Rescue Organization.

Be who you are and say what you feel...Because those that matter... don't mind...And those that mind... don't matter."

4/3:  So many emotional ups and downs.  Hanna and Pumpkin now have to be separated.  That has caused a lot of stress.  Freedom is digressing and getting quite the bully where as before he was the one being bullied.  I've tried moving some of the wild bunch.  Pumpkin promptly ate through the chain link fence leaving poor crippled Cola behind.  So now Cola, Pumpkin and Freedom have the back side of the house and the other 9 have the front side.  Patty and Fraz are not yet comfortable without the whole pack but the weather is nice so when they get hungry enough, they will come up to eat.  Leslie and Emo prefer this side anyway.
    Darcy has come a long way.  Destruction is at a minimum now.   Some day I will make a list.  10 rolls of toilet paper.  4 bedroom slippers.  One computer mouse. 2 feather and 2 fiber fill pillows.  4 pencils.  That's just what comes to mind at the moment.
    I'm taking in Heidi, a hospice cancer girl.  She will come Sunday.  Will see Rob (vet) Mon or Tue.  for instructions.  All diagnostic vetting has been done. 
     Geri came from Linda (Green Forest AC) yesterday.  She said "he" was Jerry, but upon further inspection, it's a girl.  She has either been hit by a car or beaten.  Also snake bit.  She is scheduled for vet tomorrow, but I may have to up that to today.  I really wanted Wendy to see her, thus the extra day delay. 
2/21:  Finally sleep!  Steam cleaned carpet and area rugs yesterday.  Machine conked out half way through.  Took it in and got a new one (exchange under warranty) and damned if it didn't quit before I was done.  It was the only one in stock, so I'll wait a few weeks before taking this one back and trying again.  Vacuum is acting up too.  Just spent $80 on a new switch.  Think the roller brush gears are shot now. 
      One of my adopters has had some really bad situations the past few months.  Health, hospitalization, huge CC theft which the bank is not reversing and a neighbor calling police on dogs barking during the day!   I don't think that is a law but she is giving up the dog she adopted from me.  I understand her stress although my stress is nothing compared to hers.  Breaks my heart because she is such a kind woman.  No one deserves the stuff she is going through. 
      I'm still flip flopping on what to do... where to live.  This place makes me exhausted and I don't know how to turn off my "neat and clean" side.  I love my hill and really had set on building up there, but so many set backs, that now I am wavering.  Looking at MO again and maybe close to Kathleen or maybe Kate who is also retiring from rescue.  I don't want to be a burden the Bob and Kathleen.  I know they would come anytime I needed them, but it would not be fair to them.  I just need a person in my life who has no other life and we could work together for common interests and goals.  Love dogs and be able to change a light bulb :-) 
    Didn't get enough sugar fix this morning.  Seeing double and auras rotating in my peripheral vision.  Not a clue if what I'm typing is what I'm intending! 
2/15:  Finally sorta caught up on this blog.  Rainy, dreary day.  Dogs are a muddy mess.  I got donuts this morning but it's 2:00 now and I need some lunch so heading back to the house.  Never know what to expect when Darcy has been alone. 
2/14:  My dogs are my Valentines.  
2/14 Prayers for my daughter. This has not been a good year so far. Huge vet bill, she has been sick for several weeks and now Washington state is under snow and her storage building is collapsing on top of about 50 of the childrens Power Wheels she works so hard to restore to both give away and sell. It will not covered by insurance. Neither were her vet or medical.
2/08: Thank God Kathleen came down. I was in the hospital. Kidney stones. Home now. They are dissolving but I'm worthless to take care of the dogs. I know the paramedics thought I was a nut case as all I could talk about as they were loading me up was the instructions on what doors needed opened and what gates needed closed.
    Update: Sunday 8 a.m.: Still got some pain and some nausea. I won't take the Hydrocodone. And the anti nausea makes me nauseas! Am taking the antibiotic and the stuff to dissolve the stone. Couldn't manage without Kathleen.
2/07: Weatherman was right on! Damn thunderstorm at 4 a.m. With the broken doggie window Darcy had a great time bringing in as much rain as she could and drying it off on my bed then going back out for a 'refill'. Parker managed to sneak by me and get stuck half in and half out of the bathtub. I could not back him up, so had to help him in. Then he got his legs tangled and was stuck and in pain. He could not help so I am in the tub with barely enough room for my feet trying to lift a 100 pound stuck dog. He wasn't very steady once out. (neither was I!) Poor guy. Got storm pills down him and Leslie and they helped when the following round hit about 5:30. It is one of those "I just want to go off in a corner and cry" days. I am praying the apartment is not flooded. The yard sure is and my wet weather creek looks like a year round one.
   
Thank you God! The apartment is not flooded. Darcy is running off some energy in the very muddy 'creek'. I can handle the mud. Apartment flood, no, not at all. So today is going to be ok.
2/05: Never a dull moment. My dog food was scheduled for delivery Monday. Didn't come. FedX said Tuesday. I fed the last this morning so figured I was good. Didn't come. Now it says tomorrow so I went to town to grab a bag. Came home the this!! This is my innovative doggie door that has survived several years. There was a crack in one glass, but now on all 4 sides. Inside and outside of each piece. Guy will be out tomorrow afternoon to let me know what this is going to cost! I bet Darcy has a head ache as I don't know who else would have tried to go through the glass rather then the opening.
    
Lowes guy came out and told me who to get as there is no way to replace the window without taking the whole door out. I kind of figured that. And he told me to be sure I got tempered glass for the doggie windows when I build on the hill. He was impressed with Darcy and she was her usual "Did you come to see me" self.
2/04:

Leaves are finally up. Great company and real dog lovers. I still have some in the small yard areas which I will rake and burn.

Need to find someone to help me move fencing. I just can't drag 12' long kennel panels up the hill, stand them up, hold them in place and attach each section. It is not a one person job. I need to section off the hill so when they start construction, the dogs will still have plenty of space but be kept out of harms way They need kept secure while upper fence is down and workers are hauling in and out. ….

I wish I could make up my mind on my house floor plan. It all worked fine until I decided I really do need a garage. Just threw the whole plan off. I like lots of windows. A garage either eliminates a wall of windows or blocks views. I want all rooms handicapped accessible with pocket doors so that makes planning bathrooms almost as big as a small bedroom. Hopefully I won't be needing pushed around in a wheel chair, but after trying to maneuver Loren around this house in his, I want to be sure access will work smoothly

2/01:  6 Robocalls today and it's not even noon!
   Ever get one of those "something is wrong" feelings? I felt overwhelmed 5 hours ago. Checking to be sure all family is ok. Know my dogs here are ok. I think most of us get those feelings. This one is really strong and can't shake it.
1/29: I'm moving ahead with my "move". Just going to build up the hill. The dogs love the hill and I just can't climb it so instead of going and getting them and bringing them down, I will just go live up there with them! I know to anyone who does not love dogs, this sounds insane. To me it makes perfect sense. Building a space a fourth the size of what I now have. Original plan was a fifth the size, but that became too drastic  Won't be fancy. A Pole Barn House. $60 sf vs $150 sf! Still tweaking the plan. Poor guy figuring cost my bop me over the head if I tweak it too much  I'm finally feeling positive about something. I really needed this.
1/24: A hint of sunshine for awhile. Brought me out of the "Dreary, I'm freezing and just want to stay in bed" mode. Sewed in the morning. Steam cleaned the bedroom carpet and washed all the bedding in the afternoon. It's going to be off limits just for tonight. I want just one room clean for 24 hours! So sick of MUD!.
1/15 again:  A WOW moment!  Darcy enticed Freedom to play chase.  It was beautiful to see Freedom having fun.  I've waited for this moment for over 5 years!   Make keeping this girl worth all the rolls of toilet paper. 
1/15:

The Adventures with Darcy

1/15/19 Today began with a midnight “squash mommy” episode. Sadie and Hanna were on one side of the bed. Sadie against my legs and Hannas rear between my shoulder blades and her head at my rear. Then comes Darcy. Since there was only a sliver of room on MY side of the bed, after her standing over me for attention, she stretched out butt in my chest, tail in my face and her head on my feet. When all body parts started to go numb from lack of circulation, I managed to toll over so I could bend my knees in the small space between Hanna and Sadie. This woke Darcy up. She could not get off the bed because Leslie and Pumpkin had moved into all floor space on what had become Darcys' side of the bed. Emo was at the foot of the bed and Parker and Cotton on the floor on the other side. Darcy stood up. I turned onto my back. Darcy stepped with both paws in the middle of my chest. I began to cough for air. That startled Emo, Leslie and Pumpkin. They ran out of the room. Darcy laid down full body on top of me and I was gasping while trying to get my arms free out from under the covers. I finally got Darcy off me. She did not leave without washing my face.

After getting the dogs fed, I went to the grocery store. Upon returning, toilet paper roll number 7 graced the bedroom floor. There was none in the bathroom because after roll number 6, I began putting them on the back of the toilet rather then on the roller. Foolish me! It had unrolled with the roll part well under the bed. Of course, the more I pulled, the more unrolled it became. This is added to one feather pillow and 2 fiber fill pillows, one computer mouse, Camp trailer title, notebook, lost count of pencils and ink pens, two bath towels (which will become hand towels. I don't waste if and when I can recycle), one kitchen towel, one package of Brawnschwager, 2 bedroom slippers, two shoes (no, neither the slippers nor the shoes were a pair and no they were not for opposite feet, so I couldn't even make a new fashion statement.) And, of all things, dog hair! Yes she eats dust bunnies of dog hair! Should I be thankful? And yes, she has lots of dog toys but then I don't think she knows she's a dog.

I have a new-to-me sofa. I only paid $50 but it is really nice and the color is perfect. I got it Saturday morning. I'm afraid Darcy will chew on it. I covered it with a quilt but she had been pulling it off. I sprayed the quilt with straight vinegar and she licked it!!! Yesterday Kathleen and I took Darcy to the pet store. We tried the Bitter Apple, Fooey, Etc. She was not phased! Licked our hands like it was a treat. I bought one anyway. Waste of $16. Last night I sprinkled black ground pepper on the quilt. Figured if she pulled, it would get in her nose and she would stop. The quilt was half off the sofa when I was finally able to get my legs to working from the nights 'squash' job.

I suppose some of her restlessness was because I had the gate to the upper hill closed for 24 hours. She was not able to run off as much energy (who am I kidding?) Reason for the gate closure was mud. Lots and lots of really sticky mud. I got her and Sadie in the shower and gave them a bath. I didn't want a repeat too soon.

1/14: Update on the Wild Bunch. Fraz has not had any more seizures. His personality has totally changed. He is now wanting to be near me. That is wonderful since he NEVER wanted me to be close to him. However, a little jealousy or 'picking on the sick one' has begun. I've had some brief but blood drawn fights. I'm hoping they will iron themselves out as I am at a total loss of who to "kick out" of the house and put in the shop. I've worked too hard for 5 years to get to this social point with this feral bunch.
1/10: 

4:00 a.m Fraz had a bad seizure....again. To my knowledge, his first one was at the vet's office a month ago. Since the "wild bunch" can be pretty elusive, staying up on the hill, I don't know for sure if he had any before or since. But at 4:00 a.m., he was in the kitchen. Heard a loud crash. Knew it was not Darcy as she was on the bed with me. Fraz was by the doggie door and had fallen under the bar stool which ended up crashing to the floor several feet away. Thank God it did not go through the sliding glass door. Got everyone else closed outside. (that is a real feat in itself) I had some slightly out of date (6 weeks) Phenobarbital left from Kate, so I got the Brawnschwager out and wrapped up 2 pills. Fraz was pretty 'out of it' when he stopped seizuring so I was able to direct him into the spare bedroom and close the door. Let everyone else back in. Never giving the Brawnschwager laying on the counter a thought. Not to worry. Darcy made short work of it.

I went in the bedroom and laid down next to Fraz. The more he got back to normal, the more anxious he got. Figured stress would trigger another seizure so let him back with his pack. This is going to be a really rough 'forever'. How can I keep him close to me and watch him if being close to people, including me, creates stress. Going to try the CBD oil route if It comes in capsule form. No way will he let me put drops in his mouth without totally stressing him out. A real catch 22. Hell if I do and hell if I don't.

2019 is NOT starting off well at all. And I could not wait for 2016, 2017 and 2018 to be over!

******** And it got worse!!!! 6:00 a.m. I don't know if he had another seizure, but all of a sudden I heard the 'attack' sounds. Fraz was on the ground screaming and two of the dogs were over him. Still dark and the outside light didn't give enough for me to tell who. (they all look alike anyway.) I screamed and they backed off but I had to go back in the house and slip into shoes. (This takes time. A whole other story). I got back outside and got Fraz steered into the house. Leslie, Emo, and Pumpkin were already inside. The 4 are closed in my bedroom for now as I try to figure out who I will move to the shop. I have to keep Fraz near me, but then would he be happier down there with one of the others. But not knowing who jumped him...…. I know it was not Leslie, but Leslie is VERY old and glued to me so putting her down there is not an option. Cola is crippled, but she can be a real sh*t head. She could have been the attacker. Could have been Pumpkin. Maybe Freedom. Unlikely Patty, but then I just don't know. I do know that when a dog has a seizure, the others do go a bit crazy. So I keep Fraz at the house, but who do I move???

I really am struggling to hold myself together.

1/08:

I have ZERO knowledge of cell phones. Need advice on phone and provider. I don't want fancy. I want (1) no contracts (2) no expiration of minutes (3) don't need texting. (4) video capability would be nice.

I think we only have AT&T and Verizon. Don't know what Wal-mart offers.

Service at my house is getting better so I might not have to climb the hill length of a football field to use it. After the emergency call about Zelda, my fiber optic land line went dead for 2 hours. I had to drive around banging on doors at midnight to use a phone. I just need one for emergencies like this and since I'm having to pay for something, I would like to take an occasional video of the dogs playing and be able to upload it to the computer.

1/06:

The Day After

Another piece of my heart was just sent across the Rainbow Bridge. Some of those pieces were taken after just a day in my life. This one thirteen years. The longest I have ever had the same dog in my life. And I ask myself, “Is this one really harder?” Not surprisingly, the answer is “No”. I gave her unconditional love. I gave her the best I had in me for every day I had her. No regrets. No “I wish I could do over” or ”I wish I had not done this or had done that”. From the day I got her from the kill shelter until the day I let her go, only one thing sparks regret: that she had to share my attention.

I think of Click. So happy to be free of his jail cell only to part within 24 hours because he had a highly contagious and fatal disease transmittable to humans. My husband had just been diagnosed as terminally ill. I could not take the risk and no other rescue was going to either. That one hurts the most, even after 7 years. Then poor Nomor. He was to be my last rescue, thus the name No more. He also was here during that time when my husband was dying. Nomor had a degenerative bone disease. After just a few months, the bones were just to brittle to walk. And there was Nicholas. He had an intestinal injury that because of location, was inoperable. We can only guess what horror caused this. Angel came with 6 cancerous lumps. Surgery on those and then 5 new ones showed up. More surgery. More lumps. I could not put her through a third surgery. I had to let her go after 3 months. Edison was well past his life expectancy. A big old drooly Saint. I only got to love him 3 months. Shelby who got bloat. A month later her tummy twisted and she was lost on the operating table. She was due to go to an adopter until the bloat. When I explained, the person backed out. I'm glad because at least she was with me until the end. And Kate. Dear sweet Kate. She left last year. Due to previous vet malpractice, she came with sever seizures. I tried my best to get her into a foster home near the University of Colorado where she could have been in a new study for CBD treatment of seizures. She died in my arms with the assistance of my vet. She went into an unending seizure and all I could do was take away her suffering. Way too little time with these. They are the ones I cry over.

I slept good last night. I knew Zelda was no longer in pain. I know she joined all the other hundreds of dogs she knew that have crossed before her over those 13 years. She joins Goofy, Sahara and Chipi who crosses the Bridge last year. I know she is happy. Maybe sad looking down on me because she misses me and knows how much I miss her I know she is sending love and comfort with every memory. I am ok. I have to be ok. I still have 12 dogs depending on me for the rest of their life or mine.

1/05 I'm having to tell Zelda good bye in a few minutes. Vet is on her way to my house. 13 years she has been with me.  Zelda is no longer in pain.  She crossed the Rainbow Bridge last night.  She was not responding to the shot and new meds. 
1/04: I've become so popular in the realtor world since my listing ran out. Four letters from agents yesterday and 4 today all telling me why I need them. Well, by golly, if you have such a huge list of potential buyers, why didn't you show my house when it was listed?

I have filled in 2018 with as much as I could take from Facebook posts I made since my computer was down.